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May 30, 2009

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Beverly Alexander

Bless you.

My third child was "delivered" by a physician who had agreed not to interfere unless it was medically necessary. He had been recommended by friends. I had already had 2 children with natural childbirth.

I had a checkup on a Friday afternoon the week the baby was due. With no explanation, the doctor ordered me to go to the hospital. He would not answer my questions, and I was too compliant - should have demanded an answer before cooperating with anything. When I got to the hospital, he was perturbed that I hadn't gotten there more quickly - but I lived in another town and had to pick up my kids and take them to the person who would be caring for them while I was in the hospital. He punctured the water bag, and left. When he returned, he was wearing dress clothes and was clearly put out that labor had not commenced. He had labor induced. He was curt the whole time.

Seven years later, when I became pregnant with my 4th child, I read Immaculate Deception and discovered that obstetricians frequently induced labor in women ON FRIDAY AFTERNOONS to clear their weekends!!!!!!

The Healthy Librarian

Thanks so much for sharing your experience, Bev. It's hard to believe. I was the exactly the same way--too compliant! And once you've gone into labor--you're not in the best position to negotiate, argue or ask questions.

It really helps to know all the birthing options--which is why Ricki & Abby's book & their documentary are must-sees!

Who wouldn't want a midwife who meets you at the hospital when you arrive--and stays with you throughout? And a doula who is there is answer all your questions & relieve your fears. Husbands are great--but honestly, what do they know about giving birth?

Although natural with no anesthesia, both my deliveries were do-it-yourself affairs. The Dr. showed up at the last minute.

Seeing the film shows the possibility of a whole different experience. Who knew back then that there are actually some low tech maneuvers & movements that would have relieved back labor?

I also love how Ricki says--for nine months you're told to not have as much as a wine cooler--and then when you're in labor "they're offering you narcotics and opium derivatives and stuff that, chemically speaking, looks a lot like cocaine?"

George Pollock

This post and the documentary are musts for prospective moms, but also for fathers. Most men are clueless when it comes to the vital issues involved in birth. Most of this, I'm sorry to have to admit, was new to me. My excuse is that when I became a father -- we're talking 45 years ago -- fathers were officially banned from the entire process. I dropped my wife off at the hospital and went back to work. I got a call at work a few hours later and went to the hospital where a nurse held up our new son for me to look at through a glass partition for a minute or so. Then I went back to work. Having a baby? What's the big deal? Now, as the grandfather of 9,I know it is a big deal. However, for reasons I don't understand, none of the mothers of my grandkids have wanted me holding their hands during birth or viewed me as in any way relevant to this amazing event. If not for this post, I would have remained blissfully ignorant of the vitally important issues involved. On a more upbeat note, the mothers of my grandchildren are very happy to have me love these kids to pieces -- though occasionally when our play gets noisy and disruptive, I am given a "timeout" along with them. By now you are a grandmom. Let me tell you something: you are being reborn, baby! Congratulations on this post and "your" new baby.

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