Happy Healthy Long Life

Snoop: What Your Stuff Says About You! You May Be Surprised

"If you're anything like me, you do more than passively observe the surroundings when you enter someone's living space for the first time.  My research focuses on how people's possessions can tell us even more about their personalities than face-to-face meetings or, sometimes, what their best friends say about them."

 -Dr. Sam Gosling, author of Snoop, psychology professor, University of Texas/Austin-

                                                                                
Dr. Gosling has been looking under beds, peering into closets & rifling through music collections, all in the name of research, for almost 10 years.  He claims he can figure out a lot about you, especially by looking at your bedroom. 

At first this made me kind of uneasy. Uh, what would the piles of books and magazines all over my house say about me?  And what about my choice of pictures on my book shelves, the open bottle of wine, the bowls of fruit and vegetables, the bottles of vitamins, receipts, and other junk on top of my kitchen counters?

I heard Sam on NPR on the way home from Chicago & yesterday I read all I could about his research.  His new book, Snoop: What Your Stuff Says About You, is about to hit the bookstore shelves.  I'm a sucker for personality profiles, so I had to know more.

The good news, at least for me:  Clutter isn't so bad!  It can mean you're creative & open to new ideas & experiences!

Sam can typecast you by your taste in music, what your office looks like, what's in your bedroom, what's on your walls, and what kind of junk just happens to be lying around your house.

"My research team went into bedrooms and offices and recorded their impressions in standard personality tests. We then compared what they thought about the occupants with what the occupants thought about themselves and what their friends thought about them."

What our "stuff" is telling the world:

• Gosling says that the more he peers into people's personal spaces -their homes & offices-  "The more  I've come to believe that what's going on outside the mind, reflects what's going on inside the mind."

• Our living spaces shout to the world who we are.  They're an IDENTITY STATEMENT. We decorate to please ourselves.  We pick colors, pictures, and memorabilia that give our space the "Stamp of Us". Our stuff shows what we value and how we view ourselves.  What we hang on our walls, what books we prominently display,  reflects how we want others to view us.  We leave out what we don't want to show people.  We hide the stuff we want hidden in our closets & drawers.

• Our "stuff" tells the world what we do in our homes.  Whether we listen to folk music, garden, watch lots of TV, drink single malt Scotch, collect Israeli stamps, read World War II history or entertain others--it's in our "stuff".

• Our "stuff" also tells the world what we do outside of our homes.  Check out the receipts for plane tickets, sports or concert programs, athletic shoes, garage sale finds, or the invitations & appointments hanging on the refrigerator.

• And then there's our character.  Our "stuff" gives big clues as to how we rate in the "BIG FIVE" personality traits: openness, conscientiousness, extroversion, agreeableness, and emotional stability.  But, in the final analysis, our "stuff" says more about how open we are to new experiences and how conscientious & organized we are, than it does about the other traits.

•  Are you organized or on the messy side? This doesn't mean exactly what you might think it means.  According to Gosling, "You may want your lawyer to be very organized and have a clean desk, but if you are meeting with someone in advertising, you would want their desk to be covered in papers and ideas that represent their ability to be creative." 

• Are you open to new experiences or are you reserved and conventional?  A diverse collection of books & magazines, original art, and souvenirs reflects someone who's open to new things.  It's not the quantity that's important, but the diversity!  Does your CD collection have rock, jazz & classical, or are you just collecting Country?  Openness was correlated with curiosity, imagination, being unconventional and having a wide variety of interests.

• A labeled CD collection, books arranged by subject, & nothing on flat surfaces---of course this means organization, but it also means conscientiousness.  To have an organized living space it's not sufficient to just organize it one time.  It means consistently putting the phone book back on the shelf,  throwing away the newspapers, and hanging up the clothes. Interestingly, the conscientious folks did not make particularly good use of the space in their offices.  Go figure? Conscientiousness=order=efficiency=self-discipline.

• Are you an extrovert or an introvert?  This trait is easiest to determine in an office, rather than a home.  The extrovert wants to lure people into her office to chat & schmooze.  She'll have a comfortable chair, an open door, maybe a jar of jelly beans, and the office will be decorated with pictures and lamps. The introvert's office will have subtle "no visitors please" clues.  A hard chair, and no decorating to speak of. Forget about the candy.

• For the most part, our stuff will not show whether we are agreeable, good-natured, emotionally stable, neurotic or bad-tempered. But, some research indicates that agreeableness is associated with rooms that are cheerful, colorful, clean, organized, neat, comfortable, inviting, with no clothes strewn about! Folk wisdom holds that pleasant people occupy pleasant rooms,  and agreeable people are concerned with the aesthetic comfort of their visitors.  Sounds like the house of someone I'd want to visit!

• Lots of color, brightness and a well-lit room reflects someone who is kind, open and sympathetic.

• Lots of souvenirs & memorabilia?  You're sentimental.  

• Are you a collector or a hoarder?  Hoarders collect everything, can't throw anything away, and this causes them much anxiety.  Collectors, on the other hand, take much pleasure from what they collect.  They also are much higher in the BIG FIVE TRAIT of conscientiousness.  They're orderly, organized & on the ball!

• We are not very good judges of how organized we are.  Everyone has different standards for organization & neatness.  Did a friend ever tell you to please excuse the huge mess in her house, only to walk into a pristine showplace?  For some people a glass in the sink is a mess.  For another a mess looks like something "a cyclone just hit".  Dr. Gosling suggests you ask your friends how organized you are, to learn the truth.  "They know if you're someone who has a spare stamp, or if your someone that they need to preschedule 30 minutes ahead for a movie, because they're tired of always waiting for you.

What your music says about you:

• Jazz, classical or other "complex sounds"?  They typically have a high IQ
• Country, Top 40, "easy listening"?  They're conventional, honest, & conservative.

So what does all this have to do with being happy, healthy, and living a long life?  Heck if I know.  It's just fun & interesting to play detective, both in other people's houses and our own.  I think we're all a little blind-sided about how we look to the world. A couple of months ago I was surprised to hear a friend describe me as someone who lives pretty modestly. Yes, I guess it's true, but I never thought it was noticeable.

                  

It's Off to Chicago for a Wedding - Time to Think About Marriage and Friendship

   

 "Happy marriages begin when we marry the  ones we love, and they blossom when we love the ones we marry."

                            -Tom Mullen-

We're off to Chicago for the wedding of Dave and Emily & I'm so excited!!!

I'm so excited because:

• My husband and I have known Dave's parents since college, almost 40 years now. Yikes!  They're dear friends, and I'm so thrilled to be able to celebrate this wonderful wedding.
• Our kids are friends, even though they grew up in different cities and my oldest son and daughter-in-law will be there to celebrate, too.
• We are all still friends with a number of couples who all graduated within a few years of each other--who got married right out of college, and through incredibly good luck are all still married.  For most of us, this is our 36th wedding anniversary.  Yikes!
• Dave and Emily are an extraordinary couple-soul mates for certain. Smart, talented, warm, adventurous and bound to make wonderful contributions to the world.
• Friendship Rules!

In honor of their wedding I did a little thinking about what I've learned after 36 years of marriage.

• Laugh a lot, touch a lot, show affection & give each other compliments!  It's the WD-40 of marriage.
• When your spouse asks for your help or needs you to show up--Do it!
• When your spouse needs to talk--Listen.
• When it's important to speak your mind--Speak up.
• Know when it's important to keep quiet.
• Cut each other some slack.
• Learn to dance.
• Get into the habit of taking walks-it's the best time to talk.
• Make time for activities you do together.
• Make time for activities you do on your own.
• Laugh a lot.  It bears repeating.
• Cook together.
• Stay healthy for each other.
• Be wonderful to each others parents.

Favorite advice from Meg Tufano.

•  Listen to your spouse. Shut up and listen, every day, for at least a half hour a day. Ask pertinent questions. Remember the answers. Keep notes if necessary. Your children depend on your relationship with your spouse. Make sure your marital relationship is solid and your kids will be fine. (For men: if your wife is looking miserable, ask her to tell you what’s wrong and keep asking until she spills her guts. WHATEVER it was, it will no longer make her miserable because she has talked about it with you. This is the magic key to making women happy. Flowers are always nice too!.
• Rest. Sundays are good if only because other people may be doing the same thing. But any day is fine. Rest is essential to everything else you care about. Without rest, the fragility of your life will be front and center; with rest, you have a savings account of energy from which to draw to help out others. Make it religious in the sense you ALWAYS take rest at least once a week.

My Wish for the Two of You.

• Outrageous & memorable adventures
• Wonderful friends
• Good health
• Work that you're passionate about
• Enough of life's challenges to make you stronger, wiser, and kinder
• Kids who are above average, sleep through the night, are easy-going and lots of fun
• The gift of balancing your life, your work and your family
• Enough money to feel both secure and generous.  Not so much that you become out-of-touch & spoiled.
• The knowledge that it's your friends, family & experiences that will bring you your greatest joys.  Invest your time and money accordingly.

To Life, To Life, L'Chaim, Be Happy, Be Healthy, Long Life!

    

Movies for Grown-Ups - The Stranger in a Strange Land - Sometimes We're the Stranger & Sometimes We're the Host

 




You shall treat the stranger who "visits" with you as the native among you, and you shall love him as yourself, for you were strangers in the land of
Egypt.       -Leviticus-




  
 
With movies like Iron Man, What Happens in Vegas & 10,000 BC in the local theaters, where is a grown-up supposed to go to see a good film?  It's off to a theater that shows Indie flicks, or it's a video at home.  I'm lucky to have a great theater nearby that has 7 Indies going at once.  For me a good movie teaches me something; about life, the world, history, happiness or pain.  It often gives me the language to understand what was in my heart, but not yet in my head.

My friend Tessa says she never makes movie recommendations because everybody likes something different.  I say, "Why not?  If you're a fan of blood & guts, shoot 'em up action, animation, junior high raunch, don't listen to any of my recommendations!"

The Visitor

This is the perfect quiet understated movie.  Written & directed by Tom McCarthy of "The Station Agent" it tells the story of Walter Vale (Richard Jenkins of "Six Feet Under"), a widowed, burned out, crotchety and lonely economics professor at Connecticut College.

When Walter is forced to travel to New York City to present a conference paper, he finds two strangers (illegal immigrants) living in his seldom-used NYC apartment.  Against every normal American impulse, instead of throwing them out, Walter actually lets these "strangers" explain how they happen to be living in his apartment.  Charming Tarek, a drummer from Syria, and his wary girlfriend Zainab, a jewelry maker from Senegal are hard to resist.

With nowhere else to lay their heads Walter lets them share his apartment, and they in turn,  let him share their lives with food and music and real friendship.  Walter comes alive for the first time in years and comes face to face with the real-life tragedy of what is happening to the lives of illegal immigrants since  9/11.  Sometimes it's hard to know which of us is the stranger and which of us is the host.

The Band's Visit

This was supposed to win the Academy Award for the Best Foreign Film,  but the Academy nixed it because there was too much English in it.  Eight members of the  Alexandrian (Egyptian) Ceremonial Police Band arrive in the busy Israeli airport and no one is there to meet them. With an invitation to play at the opening of an Arab Cultural Center,  it's up to them to get to their final destination on time.

Through a series of miscommunications, the hapless band, formally dressed in  1950's style sky-blue uniforms, gets dropped off in the wrong town. They've landed in the middle of a scrappy hard-luck Israeli desert town and they're a little nervous about it.  There's a language barrier, a cultural barrier, a political barrier, not to mention a prejudicial barrier.

There are no hotels or inns in this town and the band must depend on the Israelis' sometimes grudging, sometimes easy hospitality.  The band's leader is sober formal suspicious Tewfiq.  The town's  "restauranteur" is brusque yet charming, tell-it-like-it-is Dina.  And maybe the wisest of all is the band's young open friendly easy-going playboy, Haled. What happens when the stranger is supposed to be your enemy?

Lars and the Real Girl

I must have passed on this DVD at the video store half a dozen times.  The story about a man who has a life-sized doll as a girl friend?  I don't think so.  I'm so glad I finally took the chance.  Lars, played by Ryan Gosling, orders life-sized Bianca, through an internet site at a critically time in his life.  His only relatives,  brother Gus and sister-in-law Karin are going to have a child.  Lars has always been a loner, but now he appears to have clearly gone off the deep end. 

He truly believes Bianca, the doll, is his girlfriend.  She's a religious wheel-chair-bound South American who wants to be a nurse.  Completely unnerved, his wise kind-hearted sister-in-law consults the small Minnesota town's doctor, Patricia Clarkson.  Lars clearly needs help!  If only all our doctors were as wise as this one.   She advises that there's a reason Lars needs this delusion right now; something is causing him pain & he needs to work it out in his own way; he'll lose the "doll delusion" when he no longer needs it.   Best for Gus & Karin to play along.

They do even better than play along.  The whole town takes Bianca (the doll) into their lives and hearts.  It's an eccentric intelligent fairy tale, but it's got a real message for us all.  It's hard to tell who gets more from "welcoming" this stranger into their lives, Lars, his brother & sister-in-law, or the town.  Sometimes the stranger is a local who just acts strange.

God Grew Tired of Us

I waited a year for this to come out in DVD.  Don't miss it!

"An award-winning critically acclaimed documentary narrated by Nicole Kidman GOD GREW TIRED OF US explores the indomitable spirit of three Lost Boys from the Sudan who are forced to leave their homeland due to a tumultuous civil war.

Traveling barefoot across the sub-Saharan desert John Bul Dau, Daniel Abol Pach and Panther Blor were among the 25,000 Lost Boys (ages 3 to 13) who fled villages, formed surrogate families, and sought refuge from famine, disease, wild animals, and attacks from rebel soldiers. Named by a journalist after Peter Pan's posse of orphans, who protected and provided for each other, the Lost Boys traveled together for five years and against all odds crossed into the UN's refugee camp in Kakuma Kenya. A journey's end for some, it was only the beginning for John Daniel and Panther, who along with 3800 other young survivors were selected to re-settle in the United States.

The documentary chronicles their triumph over seemingly insurmountable adversities and a relocation to America where the Lost Boys build active and fulfilling new lives, but remain deeply committed to helping friends and family they have left behind".

You will laugh as much as you will cry when you watch this.  To see these boys in their first apartment, watching television, eating potato chips and visiting a grocery store for the first time is a delight.  How we have treated these strangers of indomitable spirit is not.  What they had to go through in Sudan is not.  Why is it so hard to treat the stranger with respect & generosity & to welcome him into our homes?

Then She Found Me

Helen Hunt, Bette Midler, Colin Firth, Matthew Broderick.  It feels like it's going to be a silly sappy sentimental chick flick---but then it's not.  Schoolteacher April is married to immature Ben who decides he's had enough of marriage after a year. Without any warning he wants out.  She's 39 &  desperately wants to get pregnant, but can't.  Until, of course, she finally decides to leave man-child Ben.  A week later her adopted mother dies.  Her birth mother (Bette Midler), who just happens to be a wealthy wacky talk show host, suddenly waltzes into her life & tells her Steve McQueen is her father.  Oh, and then April falls hard for the divorced father  (Colin Firth) of one of her students.  And that's just the first 15 minutes.

Stick with it--it's so much more.  It's a fun romp with depth, maturity & meaning. Can we forgive each other for the hurts we inflict upon each other? What does it mean to be a  good parent?  Can we stick with each other knowing that try as we might we'll still make mistakes, disappoint, say terrible things, and cause each other much pain?   And  what about  trusting in God when you do everything right, but everything still falls apart?  Sometimes our greatest fears bring our greatest joys.  It's complicated, the rules aren't simple, and we can't always understand our lives until we look backwards.
Sometimes the stranger is our own mother.

Don't be a stranger--please visit again!

  

  





        

Maximize Your Energy-Match Your Tasks To Your Daily Energy Levels

"Ever feel tired at 3:00? That's because your brain really wants to take a nap!

At 3:00 PM, 12 hours after the midpoint of your sleep, all your brain wants to do is nap."

-John Medina, creator of Brain Rules-

   photo by LoyCorp   

My life-time mission is to find the magic formula that will give me enough energy to work-exercise-volunteer-do-chores all day long with maximum efficiency---but at the same time, "let time go lightly " when I'm with family-friends-co-workers-acquaintances---& still have enough energy at night to stay awake when I finally flop down on the couch with a great book.  Perfect Balance. Efficient & Mellow.

I keep a watch on time when I've have work to do,
I let time go lightly with you.
          Harry Chapin - my favorite singer-songwriter

Is it possible? Have I just discovered the magic formula?  Maybe.  It just might be: Go with the Flow. The flow of hormones, like oxytocin, cortisol, melatonin, and circadian rhythms.  Yes, there's always a biological component!  But there's a big catch!  Our energy has peaks & valleys--that's just the way it is.  The trick is to know it--and PLAN YOUR DAY AROUND THOSE UPS & DOWNS.

A couple of weeks ago I came across a fascinating article in the June issue of Prevention, called "Let Your Brain Reign!" by Sara Reistad-Long.  To read the entire article click here!   Here's the premise:

"Your brain obeys its own rhythm, too--based largely on your sleep pattern, exposure to light, and genetic makeup--and getting in a groove with its tempo can make you healthier, happier, and more productive. For example: "Since adults over 40 are generally morning types, they would most likely score better on an IQ test at 9 AM than at 4 PM," says Lynn Hasher, PhD, a psychology professor at the University of Toronto.

If you want to maximize your energy you need to match your tasks with your body's daily ebb & flow.  Simple as that.

• 7-9 am: Connect with family, friends & co-workers. Oxytocin, the "love hormone" is sky-high upon waking.  Best time for intimacy at all levels.  Call your friends, family, cuddle with your partner, write thank you notes. This one, in my opinion is really bad timing!  But I've got to admit, morning is a great time for cuddling; and the only time I really feel like using the phone is in the morning, especially on the way to work.  Maybe it's the oxytocin! I'm ready & willing to talk to all my friends & family soon after I wake-up--but no way am I going to risk waking anyone up at that hour or interrupt their morning routine. It's my favorite time to call my  sister, and those friends who I know are early risers & don't mind morning calls. By evening I've lost the urge! If you get to work before 9 am, now is the time to schmooze with your co-workers.


• 9-11 am:  Brain work-Creativity-Analytical work.  Cortisol, the stress hormone is at "moderate levels" which gives you just the right edge to focus.Your mind is at its sharpest.  If you have a presentation to write, need to brain storm new ideas, or have a task that requires a sharp brain--9-11 is the time.  Don't waste it!  I love 9-11.  I know I'm sharpest at this time, but often I'm squandering this precious time on other activities.  Time to rearrange my schedule & leave 9-11 for "brain work"!! It just seems so unfair that it only lasts 2 hours. Tip #1: sometime between 9 am-2 pm try to get a dose of sunlight.  It will increase your serotonin & give you energy, not to mention that all important Vitamin D that I keep harping about.

• 11 am-2 pm: Tough tasks-errands-attacking the to do list. Melatonin, the sleep hormone has dipped from its late evening & early morning peaks, so we're ready for the day's "heavy lifting".  It's the best time to get to everything on your to-do list, make that presentation, answer emails, run errands.  We're still mentally sharp, but not as tip-top as at 9-11.  Watch out for multi-tasking, though.  All the experts warn against this.  Take every task one at a time!

• 2-3 pm: Siesta time-take a break! Try to eat your lunch closer to 2 pm, if possible, because this is the time when we start to crash. But be sure to have that healthy mid-morning snack if you wait until 2 pm for lunch.  Now is the time to "Eat, Take a Nap".  I know that sounds crazy, but, if there's any way you can steal away for 20-30 mins., and find a quiet, dark place to do a quick meditation/nap you will be amazed at the results.  Get yourself an inexpensive kitchen timer, a Back Jack  , a small afghan, or pillow and go into an empty office (or your bedroom) and do a simple breath count meditation, or just lie down for 20-30 mins.  I am astounded at how refreshed this makes me feel, and it really has increased my evening energy level.  I have always felt a drop in energy somewhere mid-afternoon, and never considered that it was part of  the body's natural rhythm.  Who knew how much more energized I could feel by a simple 30 minute time-out! Tip #1: If you've slept poorly the night before, you'll experience a bigger energy dip by mid-day. Tip #2: NASA pilots who took a 26 minute nap improved performance by 34%.


• 3-6 pm: Collaborate with co-workers or exercise. The brain is still fatigued, but your cortisol level (the stress hormone) has dipped, making you mellow.  This is a good time to do the routine tasks at work that don't take too much brain power, or for low pressure meetings.  If you're at home, attack the easy going  no-brainer chores.  The other option, is to use this time to work out.  Exercising before dinner is probably the best use of this slow down brain time.  You'll get rejuvenated and put your body into calorie burn mode before dinner.  Note to self: start work early & switch morning exercise to after work.


• 6-8 pm: Time for personal tasks.  Sleep inducing melatonin is at its lowest level, putting us back into awake mode.  Researchers call this the "wake maintenance" period.  You've got the energy to stop at the grocery, drug store or library on the way home.  If you're already home, do some straightening up before dinner and enjoy your family.  Our appetites start increasing because of the circadian changes in our hormones and it's time to prepare the evening meal.  I definitely get renewed energy during this time--my downfall is when I get home too close to that 8 pm witching hour.  That's when I lose the energy for proper meal prep & eating late cuts into the next important time period--relaxation.


• 8-10 pm: Time to wind down & relax.  Melatonin rises quickly at this time. 80% of our serotonin, our "perky hormone", comes from the sun.  So when the sun fades, so do we. Suddenly we go from awake to drowsy.  We're like Cinderellas approaching midnight.  That's why you always feel better when you get home early from work, instead of fighting the "hormone flow" & working late or attending evening meetings.  We need this time to wind down.  It's true for me.  Now is the time to slow down and not feel guilty about it.  The brain is tired. It's time for a "mindless" activity like TV or a relaxing activity like knitting. Stay away from the computer or brain stimulating games or books. It will mess with your sleep!  I guess if I'm going to flop  down on the couch, I better stick to a novel, the newspaper or magazines.  Tip #1: Dim the lights a little to insure that you keep your melatonin high. Tip #2: Beware of alcohol this late in the day.  It will disturb your sleep.


• 10 pm or later:  Get to bed! There's no way around this if you want to be sharp and in a good mood the next morning! Get your 7-9 hours without fail.  This is not an option.  Your brain needs the time to consolidate memories and learning.  Your body needs the time to repair and rejuvenate. Lack of sleep will impair your mood, memory, logical reasoning, motor dexterity,  attention, executive function, appetite, and immune system.  Enough said.  Nod off with a book.  Keep your room dark or use eye shades (really!), to keep your melatonin high.  For previous posts on sleep, click here  and here!


• Final tips:  You all know this already, but just in case...  Keep your body fueled through-out the day.  Eat a good breakfast with protein, carbs & a little healthy fat.  Refuel every 3-4 hours depending upon your appetite & always with a carb/protein mix snack.  This keeps the serotonin (the perky hormone) high & keeps you awake. Ditch the caffeine after 3 pm.  Avoid the alcohol after dinner.  Try to stop eating 3 hours before sleep. I've yet to stop eating at 7:30 pm-ever.  That one's tough.

For a visual look at your own energy peaks & valleys try taking this 1 minute Natural Rhythm
test developed by Professor Jim Horne at Loughborough University in the UK. Click  here.

Does anyone have their own tips to share for getting the most out of the day?  Does this "energy map" ring true for any of you?

Fighting Entropy With New Habits - Why I Vow to Make My Bed Every Morning

 "It almost seems as if making your bed everyday and keeping your life in order is futile. In a sense it is. Every time you try to organize, you’re battling a natural force that drives the entire universe: entropy."

-from The Art of Manliness-

I woke up at 3:00 in the morning consumed with thoughts of entropy--that left to its own devices everything (like my house, my garden, my body & my brain) just falls apart --there are only 24 hours in a day--the maintenance never ends--and now I'm adding some extras to my To-Do List for this month--HOW CAN I GET IT ALL DONE?

• Mulching the darn garden.
• Weeding the darn garden.
• Planting the darn plants.
• Replacing our 20 year old air conditioner that just died.
• Fixing my car, now that the Check Engine Light can no longer be ignored.
• Reading a book for book club.  A Good Thing.
• Hosting the book club.  A Good Thing.
• Making final plans for our family vacation coming up in 4 weeks. Yikes! A Good Thing
• Hosting out-of-town company. A Good Thing
• Traveling out of town for a wedding. A Good Thing
• Rehanging the pictures I removed 1 year ago when we painted our house-that I haven't rehung because I wanted something hipper than what's been hanging there for over 20 years, and I don't exactly know what that is.
• Cleaning out my disgusting basement.
• Finally getting started on redoing my oldie moldy upstairs bathroom.
• Replacing the faded, worn-out family room furniture.
• Researching & making plans for a July weekend to Niagara-on-the-Lake.  A Good Thing
• And yada yada yada

I know-this is definitely a case of whining on the yacht!  Why am I moaning?  Children in Haiti are eating mud sandwiches, people are starving in Myanmar, and now the earthquake in China.  And I'm whining about having too many wonderful things to do? 

And then, by chance at breakfast, I happened upon Benjamin Franklin and his own sorry struggles with bringing order into his life. He had far more important things to accomplish than I, and yet all the household stuff drove him crazy, too. That's when I had a brilliant revelation.  Maybe there's a connection between an orderly life and a happy accomplished life.

If I want to fully enjoy my family, my friends, my projects, and actually do something about Haiti or Myanmar or the environment---maybe I need ORDER IN MY OWN HOUSE FIRST.

Franklin chose Order as his third virtue because it “would allow [him] more time for attending to [his] projects and [his] studies.” Franklin understood that if he wanted to get important things done in his life, he had to make sure the little things wouldn’t get in the way.

From the website: The Art of Manliness comes advice for people like me, who hate planners and systems, but need a nudge to get going.

The secret to bringing order to your life and overcoming entropy while only minimally increasing it in other areas of your life is simple: DO IT NOW. No system, no in-boxes, no index cards. Just do it now. After you get out of bed, turn around and make it. After you receive a piece of mail, take action on it immediately. As soon as you’re done eating, wipe down the kitchen. If you drop a sock on the floor, pick it up without hesitation. It’s not as easy as it sounds because whenever a bit of disorder appears in your life, you will feel entropy pulling you to ignore it. You must train yourself to repeat the mantra “do it now!” and push through this force.

If you find that you can’t do something now, write it down in a simple notebook. There’s no need to develop an elaborate capturing and filing system. Just write it down so you don’t forget.

But what about tasks that require multiple steps, ones you can’t take action on immediately? You will get to them eventually. They’re big; you won’t forget to do them, and you don’t need a system to get them done. Meanwhile, by creating an organized home, car, and workplace, you create an environment out of which the bigger tasks will flow far more easily.

Long before the “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” and “Getting Things Done,” men like Theodore Roosevelt accomplished amazing things without an elaborate system. You don’t need to set up some crazy regimen either. All you need to know to become a Master of the Universe are three little words: do it now, dagnabit. Okay four words.

I left the house this morning with my bed made, my clothes hung up, the sink empty, and everything picked up.  It added about 12 more minutes to my morning.  Who knew? I can do this.

The Healthy Librarian's Brain Back-Up Blog for This Week's Health News

"Once You're Through Learning, You're Through"

-John Wooden, retired UCLA basketball coach, 97 years old-

I started this blog as my own computer back-up for everything I learn about living a healthy happy long life.

I soon found out that there is no way I can capture everything that comes my way via podcasts, NPR, books, websites, newspapers and magazines with twice a week postings.

For a change of pace I'm backing up my brain by downloading the mass of swirling (but useful) health & happiness tips that have come my way this week.  Instead of long posts, you're getting the "blog bytes".

So here goes:

• Take your multi-vitamin BEFORE YOUR LARGEST meal of the day. It's the most important vitamin you can take & it will lower your C-Reactive Protein levels after 6 months of use.   From Dr. Mark Liponis, Medical Director of Canyon Ranch.

 

• Top 3 tips to prevent & treat eczema in children. 1. Take probiotics in pregnancy and while nursing. 2. Take omega-3 (especially DHA-at least 300 mg/a day) while pregnant and nursing. 150 mg/a day for kids after they stop nursing. 3. Switch to organic milk.  Decreases eczema 36%. From Dr. Alan Greene, Clinical Professor at Stanford University School of Medicine.  These 3 tips  reduce inflammation, reduce the hyper-immune response, and calm things down.

 

• Massaging scientific data to raise doubts about the adverse effects of toxic substances is a too-common strategy that's employed by industry to delay government regulation on questionable chemicals. From Sharon Begley of Newsweek, "Whitewashing Toxic Chemicals".   Begley discusses George Washington University professor David Michael's new book, Doubt is Their Product:  How Industry's Assault on Science Threatens Your Health.  Hmm, who do you believe about the safety of bisphenol-A, Dr. Fred vom Saal or the American Chemistry Council?

 

• Breast-feeding makes for smarter kids!  "Long and exclusive breast-feeding makes kids smarter", according to a study conducted by McGill University's Dr. Michael S. Kramer. Breast-feed for three months minimum, but one year or longer is best.  It also bolsters kids' ability to handle psychosocial stress later in life., according to a study by Dr. Scott Montgomery.  I'm a huge advocate of breast-feeding.  There is no downside here.

 

• 2 great tips for getting yourself to do something you don't want to do.  This comes from Gretchen Rubin's Happiness Project.  1. Do it first thing in the morning. This absolutely works for me, and the relief of getting a difficult task out-of-the-way makes me feel on top of the world.  2. Remember: most decisions don't require extensive research.  One choice isn't much different from another choice. I can move on.  Sometimes being a research librarian can be a curse, and for me this advice is the biggest time-saver & mind-easer I can think of.  It's absolutely true. Every time I make a decision without 5 hours of research reinforces the lesson that often "it doesn't make a difference!"

 

• The best sex lasts from 7 to 13 minutes.  Read all about it in Newsweek's interview with Eric Corty of Penn State.  His article appears in the May issue of The Journal of Sexual Medicine.

 

• Three common medications may cause seniors to lose their thinking skills more quickly than those who don't take the medications.   Zantac (ranitidine) for stomach acid; Detrol (tolterodine) for urinary incontinence; and Procardia or Adalat (nifedipine) for high blood pressure are all anticholinergics.  And anticholinergics interfere with acetylcholine, a chemical that enhances communication between nerve cells in the brain. "These results were true even in older adults who have normal memory and thinking abilities," study author Dr. Kaycee M. Sink said.  "For older adults taking a moderately anticholinergic medication, or two or more mildly anticholinergic medications, their function was similar to that of someone three to four years older."  Something to seriously consider if you have an older relative taking any of these commonly prescribed medications.

 

• Low vitamin D may boost the risk of depression in seniors.  Does this mean you'll be happier if you retire to Florida?  One more reason to get a baseline test of your vitamin D level with the serum 25-hydroxyvitamin D test.

 

• Three motivating pieces of advice to get you out of a rut & forging ahead: 1. Taking risks is the only way to get more out of life than you are currently getting.  2.  Hard work is the greatest "talent" any of us can ever possess, and there is no substitute.  3.  Go after your dream now, and don't wait for the "some day" to arrive, because the "some day" only comes when you reach out to grab it.  From Caroline Adams Miller.

 

• Two CocoaVia chocolate bars a day lowered cholesterol & blood pressure.  Cholesterol dropped because of the plant sterols in the bars, and blood pressure dropped because of the flavanols in the chocolate.  It was a well designed study out of the University of Illinois and I'm not going to dispute this science. I love these bars, but at 90 calories a bar I have to be careful.  They are addicting. But if you need a chocolate fix, why not lower your cholesterol and blood pressure while  you indulge?

Who Do You Tell When Something Wonderful Just Happened?

"Good, the more communicated, more abundant grows."
      -John Milton, Paradise Lost, Book V

Who are you going to call?  You just got the job.  Got into medical school.  Found out you're pregnant.  Got the "all clear" on your MRI.  Or your son got engaged, accepted to Harvard Law, and took a job making six figures.

First I call my husband, then my kids, then my sister & sister-in-law, then my friends.  My mom would probably be first on that list if she were still alive.  Moms are definitely the guaranteed number one cheer-leading booster squad in your life.  After all, your good news is their good news.

But sometimes, at least for me, it can be complicated.  Sometimes I have a problem sharing good news.  It's hard for me to share good news when I know someone is experiencing their own disappointments.  How do you share your pregnancy with a friend who has been trying to get pregnant for months?  How do you share your daughter's great job offer with a friend whose daughter moved back home?

And then I've also got my own goofy mishigas (Yiddish for craziness) about divulging my good news.  It's a mixture of the fear of the "evil eye" and a crazy aversion to looking like a braggart.  As if drawing attention to my own good fortune will tempt fate to throw something terrible my way.  Definitely, my mishigas!

And can you be happy and enthusiastic for your friend when your own heart is breaking?  It's  complicated.

I was reminded of all of this yesterday when I read David J. Pollay's "right on post", called Who Do You Run To?  He shares the exhilaration he felt in fifth grade when he broke his school record for the 50 yard dash.  He couldn't wait to go home for lunch and share his good news with his mom.  His mom pumped him for every detail of his victory.  Then they called his dad & he got to share his awesome news all over again.  He'll never forget that day.  He says, "It was one of the best days of my life."

Back in 2004 Shelly Gable of UCLA and Harry Reis of the University of Rochester published "What Do You Do When Things Go Right?  The Intrapersonal and Interpersonal Benefits of Sharing Positive Events"  in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 

They came up with four ways people respond to someone else's good news.

• Active-Constructive response: They're thrilled, they want to know all the details, "they're almost more happy than I am."  And you are so glad you shared your news with them.
• Passive-Constructive response:  They're the quiet type.  They listen actively, they're happy for you, they're supportive, but you're pretty much going to be giving a monologue.  No pumping for details here.
• Active-Destructive response:  They're going to give you the down-side of your good news.  They'll point out all the possible problems, and remind you that everything good has a bad side.  They're really going to take the wind out of your sails.
• Passive-Destructive response:  They're not going to give you much attention at all.  They'll seem disinterested, or give you the impression they don't really care.

So who do you think you're going to be sharing your good news with?  And more importantly, how do you react when your friends and family share their good news with you?  Want to be that go-to-person-for-sharing-good-news?  Active-Constructive leads the pack.

Having an enthusiastic cheerleader in your life was positively correlated with higher relationship well-being, like improved intimacy, bonding and marital satisfaction. 

Personally, I love to hear good news.  And anyone who shares their good news with me knows ahead of time they're going to get lots of questions!

ADD, Autism, Hyperactivity, Behavioral Problems? Could BPA or Phthalates in Cans, Plastics, Carpets & PJs Be Responsible?

"There are risks to everyone, but in babies they're permanent.  Exposure of human or animal babies to Bisphenol-A is going to have a permanent, harmful effect.  Once that effect occurs you're not going to be be normal, and there's nothing anyone can do about it."

"One of the things that has been seen is hyperactivity and learning disorders in animals and associated with neurochemical change in dopamine - a drop in dopamine levels."

"We see anatomical, neurochemical & behavioral changes that are particularly relevant to attention deficit/hyperactivity disorders, and autism is so complex that we can't say that there is a direct relationship to autism, but there are behavior changes that are related to the kinds of things you see in autism."

                                              -Dr. Fred Vom Saal, Reproductive Scientist
                                                       University of Missouri-Columbia

*For more complete info on BPA see my first post, Cleaning Up My Kitchen - Clearing Out the Bisphenol-A

If parenthood or grandparenthood is in your future please take note of this post and pass it on. 

I have never been a fanatic about chemicals or fabrics or lotions or food or utensils.  But I read a lot, and I pay attention when three expert advisory panels of scientists say the FDA needs to do something about Bisphenol-A (BPA) to protect fetuses, infants and young children.  There are over 175 NIH and non-industry funded studies saying this stuff is risky.  The only studies that say it's safe are those funded by the American Chemical Council or the plastics industry.

"There's over 6 billion pounds of this made and used a year.  It's one of the biggest chemicals in production in the world."      Dr. Fred vom Saal

I spent Thursday listening to both sides of the argument.  I heard Steven Hentges of the American Chemistry Council, John Bucher of NIH, Fred vom Saal of the University of Missouri-Columbia, Tony Clement, Health Minister of Canada, Warren Foster of McMaster University in Canada, Randy Jirtle of Duke University, and John McLachlan of Tulane University.

Here's what I came away with:

• It may take years to get actual proof in human beings of the harmful effects of BPA & phthalates
• Scientists know beyond a shadow of a doubt that there are harmful behavioral (like aggression & hyperactivity), neurological ( like learning disabilities), reproductive and endocrine effects of this drug on animals, and in doses far less than humans are exposed to.
• Exposure at the time of pregnancy, especially at fertilization (not always a planned moment), can cause the most dire effects.  Scientists know, especially from their experience with DES (Diethylstilbestrol) that BPA can cause permanent DNA changes to the fetus that in effect can set up time bombs later in life to cause cancer, diabetes, obesity and other adverse effects.  The harmful effects first seen in animals exposed to DES were seen many years later in humans.
• The only down side to staying away from BPA if you plan to get pregnant is the inconvenience.  It's a no-brainer decision!

Until the FDA starts labeling plastics and cans so we know which ones have BPA why not do what Dr. Fred vom Saal and every other scientist who studies BPA has done.

• Stay away from cans. Eden Organic Beans are the only ones documented to not have BPA. The  Environmental Working Group  says cans, more than plastic, is the predominant way we are getting exposed to BPA.  They're lined with an epoxy that contains BPA that can leach out when heated during processing. In the presence of acids like tomatoes, and alcohol even more is leached out.  Think canned beer.  Organic Grace  is maintaining a very helpful list of which manufacturers have BPA in their cans. It's continually updated, so keep checking back.  That means no soft drinks, no canned beer, no cans of V-8, no canned soups, no canned tomatoes, you name it!  By the way, Japan eliminated 95% of the BPA from their cans 10 years ago.  But stay away from cans from China-it's in theirs.
• Throw out your hard clear polycarbonate plastics.  All the BPA expert scientists have switched to stainless steel water bottles like Klean Kanteen even though #1, #2, #4 and #5 do not contain BPA.
• Don't heat plastic in the microwave.
• Don't wash plastic in the dishwasher.
• Don't use harsh detergents on plastic.
• Don't put hot food or liquids into plastic.
• Switch to microwave-safe glass for storing & reheating foods. I've been searching all over without luck for those old-fashioned pyrex refrigerator containers.  Thanks to my resourceful daughter-in-law I found out that they're at Crate and Barrel.  Here's the link: glass set  and individual containers.  There is only one type with a glass lid, but the plastic lids are of the BPA-free #5 plastic.
• Seriously consider filtering your water with a carbon filter or reverse osmosis system.  BPA and other estrogenic substances have been found in groundwater from the runoff of discarded plastics, livestock hormones and even oral contraceptives.  Remember the recent reports of pharmaceuticals found in our water systems?  Maybe I'm over-reacting, but the BPA scientists are filtering their water.
• Stainmaster carpet, Teflon coatings, the fire retardant chemicals on upholstery & in pajamas, and polyurethane foam furniture all have phthalates or PBDE, unless they specifically say otherwise.  Educate yourself!  This brief article from the National Geographic's Green Guide will set you straight about childhood exposure:  Click Here!   I highly recommend bookmarking or saving to del.icio.us The National Geographic's Green Guide.  Consult it regularly for safe consumer products.

The reason for so much concern with babies is because of the double doses of BPA from canned formula, poured into a polycarbonate plastic baby bottle that gets heated in the microwave and washed in the dishwasher! 

And, if I haven't completely put you to sleep yet....   Dr. Theo Colburn, Professor of Zoology at the University of Gainesville, and named Hero of the Environment by Time Magazine, theorizes that exposure to BPA, along with the phthalates in fire-retardant fabrics and stain-resistant carpets may be the trigger for autism.  To read more about the autism link, click here.  For her nine key points about the risks of chemical exposure to babies & children, click here.

Link to NPR/Diane Rehm's discussion on BPA:   Click here.

Link to Joe & Terry Graedon's discussion on BPA and other "hormone disrupters": Part One   &   Part Two

Link to interesting article about Dr. Fred vom Saal: Click here.