Happy Healthy Long Life

Happy 44th Anniversary! Secrets of a Good Marriage - Generosity, Luck, the 5-1 Ratio & Bill Murray's Groundhog Day

 

                                                                                 Hammer Press
                                                                                   

 

Bet you can't read everything on this intriguing card!  I know I couldn't.

So, I enlarged it--and was rewarded for my efforts.  It's a hoot!

It may be tongue-in-cheek, but guess what?   We're kind-of-living this greeting card message.

Lucky us, I say!

But, it took 44 years of practice--every day--to get there!   (We're still working on it!)  Plus, lots of luck, the 5-1 ratio, & Bill Murray's Groundhog Day.   More on that later.

In case you're wondering, the words in italics are how the Healthy Librarian & the Lab Rat stack up to the card's standards.

 

I WILL

• Buy You Flowers For No Reason.   Check!  He's done that.  A lot.  I haven't.  But, I buy him other surprises for no reason, that I know he'd appreciate.
• Remind You That You're Good at Your Job.   Check!  For both of us--all the time.  But, it's usually not about our "work" jobs--it's about other things we're good at.
  
• Make Coffee For You Every Morning.  Check--whoever is up first, makes the coffee!
• Open The Door For You.  Check!  For both of us.
• Not Roll My Eyes When You Talk About How Hot Tom Brady Is?   Huh?  Who's Tom Brady?  
• Be Vegan If You Want To Be Vegan.  Check!  We both were willing to give this one a try.
• Cook For Your Book Club.  Check!  It's "our" book club--it's co-ed--and we both cook for it when it's at our house.
• Wash Your Car For You.  Check!  He washes my car.  I've never washed his.  He's into car care--I'm not.
• Rub Your Feet While We Watched House Hunter's International.  Check!  I kid you not--this actually happened this year--and, trust me, he must have really felt sorry for me to do this.  Can't think of a show he hates more--and he's not a foot-rubber.  
  
• Let You Spend All Day Sunday In Front Of The TV.  Check!  Sure, why not? Occasionally.  Sometimes a guy needs to veg-out without being nagged about it.  But, TV's his thing--not mine.
  
• Not Interrupt You!  Hasn't happened yet-but we're working really hard on this one!  

 

Where Did This Card Come From?

This adorable card illustrated Tara Parker Pope's December 11th, 2011 Sunday New York Times Magazine story, "The Generous Marriage".  

So, what's a "generous marriage"--and why should we care? 

 

This excerpt will give you the gist:

 

"Researchers from the University of Virginia’s National Marriage Project recently studied the role of generosity in the marriages of 2,870 men and women.

Generosity was defined as “the virtue of giving good things to one’s spouse freely and abundantly” — like simply making them coffee in the morning — and researchers quizzed men and women on how often they behaved generously toward their partners. How often did they express affection? How willing were they to forgive?

The responses went right to the core of their unions. Men and women with the highest scores on the generosity scale were far more likely to report that they were “very happy” in their marriages.

The benefits of generosity were particularly pronounced among couples with children. Among the parents who posted above-average scores for marital generosity, about 50 percent reported being “very happy” together. Among those with lower generosity scores, only about 14 percent claimed to be “very happy,” according to the latest “State of Our Unions” report from the National Marriage Project."

 

 

Of course, I read the article immediately--it was short--and I took the quiz that came with it, "Do You Have a Generous Relationship?".   

Then, I asked my husband to take it.  I couldn't believe he didn't roll his eyes at that request--but he took the quiz.  It helped that there are only 4 questions to answer!

Turned out we got the same score--a 17, I think.  But, if you ask me, he's definitely the more generous one.

 

Here's what I wanted to tell Tara Parker-Pope after I read her article:

 

Love this study--and this column.  Thanks, Tara.  I'll try to be more generous.

Yikes--TODAY my husband & I will be married for 44 years.

He's incredibly generous--every day.

Last night he shared his Good & Plenty with me, at the movies, even though he only bought a small box because I swore I wasn't going to want any of it.   No kidding--that's generous!

Whoever gets up last--makes the bed.  Whoever gets up first makes the coffee in the morning.  Whoever has the time, does the grocery shopping,  makes dinner, or cleans the house.

He knows the stuff I hate to do--so he'll just do it for me.  Car stuff.  Lawn stuff.  Money stuff.

I'll do the the stuff he hates to do.   Make the phone calls.  Keep in touch with the relatives.  Make the social plans.  Buy the presents, the cards, do the non-guy-type shopping.

He'd deny it, but, honestly,  I think he's more generous to me, than I am to him--but, I always keep a look-out for what I can do for him.

 

 

So Why I'm I Bringing Up "The Generous Marriage"? 

TODAY Is Our 44th Wedding Anniversary & I Think It's Excellent Advice!

 

Today is our "official" 44th anniversary, and we are celebrating it in our style--low-key, no hoopla---but, it will definitely include a movie, FOOD, a reiki treatments been promised, a hike (I hope)---and......   The BIG celebration comes in July---3 weeks in northern England, hiking the Coast-to-Coast, from the Irish Sea to the North Sea.

(FROM 2011's 40th anniversary post)  Two of our college friends were already visiting us over the extended Christmas weekend (which, BTW, is why you haven't seen any posts from me lately!)--and we asked two of our other long-time in-town friends to join in the celebration. 

Both couples were at our wedding forty years ago.  This summer they will celebrate their 40th wedding anniversaries.   All of us were 22 year-old kids when we got married; and we all started our families around age 30--about 8 years later--thankfully, after we grew up a little!

We've been together through the good times & the bad.  Through celebrations, graduations, weddings, babies, illnesses, disappointments, and the deaths of our parents.  We've got history. Like 43 years worth.

 

You're Looking at 118 Years of Marriage (L-R: Bob, Babs, Lab Rat, Me, Lee, Marge)

 

 

Everyone Has Advice About What Makes a Good Marriage.

But, I'm Still Sticking With What I Wrote on Our 37th Anniverary, Three Years Ago:

 

What's the Secret of a Good Marriage?   Luck, the 5-1 Ratio & Bill Murray's Groundhog Day!

 

A reposting from:

December 26, 2008

Happy Anniversary - Secrets of a Good Marriage - Luck, the 5-1 Ratio & Bill Murray's Groundhog Day

 

 

"Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love, and they blossom when we love the ones we marry."   
                     
  -Tom Mullen-

 

"Life is a Life-changing Experience"

-Harry Shearer-

Today is our 37th wedding anniversary!  Yikes!  Where did the time go?  We were both only 20 years old when we first met.  We literally grew up together.  And now we are into the dessert course of marriage--the best part!

My husband is the funniest person I knew.  He makes me laugh everyday, really!  He's also the most trustworthy person I know.  Except when he's being the most annoying person I know.

When I asked him what superlatives he would give me, he answered instantly, "You're the nicest person I now.  And the kindest.  Except when you're being the most annoying person I know.  You're also funny, but not the funniest person I know.  Sorry."

So what's the secret to a happy marriage?  I wouldn't presume to answer that question for anyone but us, but I figure you need 3 things going for you:

• Good luck in who you choose and good luck in the curve balls life will surely throw you.
• The 5-1 ratio.  Your nice-to-nasty ratio must be 5-1!  It really works! 
  

John Gottman's pioneering research on marriages suggests that there is a "magic ratio" of 5 to 1 -- in terms of our balance of positive to negative interactions. Gottman found that marriages are significantly more likely to succeed when the couple's interactions are near that 5 to 1 ratio of positive to negative. When the ratio approaches 1 to 1, marriages "cascade to divorce."

• The Bill Murray Groundhog Day Principle.  If you stay married long enough, and keep repeating the same stupid mistakes over & over again, you finally get it right!  The light bulb will go on & you'll figure out what works & what doesn't.  Ditch what's not working.  

For instance:  

• I am spatially-challenged, so my husband has quit relying on me to help him move furniture through narrow doorways or going up & down stairs. 
• My husband  is directionally-challenged (as in maps) so I'm the directions person, & I make sure I know exactly where we are going.
• I love to hike, but I'll pass on backpacking--why would you want to ruin a perfectly good hike carrying 50 lbs. on your back?  So he goes with a friend. 
• He's not into going to lectures on weeknights--I go with friends. 
• He got tired of listening to me whine & he finally learned to dance--and loves it.
• He knows I hate to read technical manuals, so he'll just read them for me.
• Nagging never works!  (I'm still working on this one.)  Sounds simple enough, but like Bill Murray, it took us years to figure these little things out.

Ellen Goodman, of the Boston Globe explains it better than I can, in her Zen-like review of Groundhog Day :

 

"Making the best of what we have....is not second best.  It is rather, a demand for active engagement in caring for what and whom we value.

That is what's touching about Groundhog Day.  Our trapped weatherman has to learn this the hard way.  His life is reduced to one inescapable day.  It's the entire deck he's been dealt, the allotment of flowers he can arrange, the cast of characters in his life.

He goes through stages of feeling trapped, depressed, and living as if there's no tomorrow.  He finally comes to the not-so-profound-but-still-pretty-rare realization that he can change his world by changing himself.

..it's about making the best of what you have...over and over. Making small repairs and improvements so that the commitments of midlife--the work you do and people you love--don't become a trap.  They become and remain the town in which you choose to live even when you have options."

Back in May 2008, in honor of a very special wedding in Chicago I did a little thinking about what I'd learned after almost 37 years of marriage.   

• Laugh a lot, touch a lot, show affection & give each other compliments!  It's the WD-40 of marriage.
• When your spouse asks for your help or needs you to show up--Do it!
• When your spouse needs to talk--Listen.
• When it's important to speak your mind--Speak up.
• Know when it's important to keep quiet.
• Cut each other some slack.
• Learn to dance.
• Get into the habit of taking walks-it's the best time to talk.
• Make time for activities you do together.
• Make time for activities you do on your own.
• Laugh a lot.  It bears repeating.
• Cook together.
• Stay healthy for each other.
• Be wonderful to each others parents.

Favorite advice from Meg Tufano.

• Listen to your spouse. Shut up and listen, every day, for at least a half hour a day. Ask pertinent questions. Remember the answers. Keep notes if necessary. Your children depend on your relationship with your spouse. Make sure your marital relationship is solid and your kids will be fine. 
• For men: if your wife is looking miserable, ask her to tell you what’s wrong and keep asking until she spills her guts. WHATEVER it was, it will no longer make her miserable because she has talked about it with you. This is the magic key to making women happy. Flowers are always nice too!.
• Rest. Sundays are good if only because other people may be doing the same thing. But any day is fine. Rest is essential to everything else you care about. Without rest, the fragility of your life will be front and center; with rest, you have a savings account of energy from which to draw to help out others. Make it religious in the sense you ALWAYS take rest at least once a week.

My Wish for Dave & Emily back in May 2008, is exactly what came true for us!

• Outrageous & memorable adventures
• Wonderful friends
• Good health
• Work that you're passionate about
• Enough of life's challenges to make you stronger, wiser, and kinder
• Kids who are above average, sleep through the night, are easy-going and lots of fun
• The gift of balancing your life, your work and your family

• Enough money to feel both secure and generous.  Not so much that you become out-of-touch & spoiled.
• The knowledge that it's your friends, family & experiences that will bring you your greatest joys.  Invest your time and money accordingly.

 
And I almost forgot, this sage advice comes from Rhett Ellis' wacky book, "How I Fell in Love with a Librarian and Lived to Tell About It":

 

 

 

 

"We've all got our good and bad sides.  If you want to find love and joy in this lifetime you've got to live by mercy.

 

Focus on the best in people and ignore all the bad that you can ignore.  It's really that simple."

To Life, To Life, L'Chaim, Be Happy, Be Healthy, Long Life!

 

 

Something New:  

Follow me on Happy Healthy Long Life - The Healthy Librarian's Facebook Page. Something new everyday--& you don't have to have a Facebook account to check out what's on the page.  

But, I'd love it if you'd click that thumbs-up LIKE Button on the top of page, and join in the conversation.

 

Now It's Your Turn.  What's Secrets of a Good Marriage Would You Share with a Newly-Married Couple?  Click here, and scroll to the bottom of the page to leave a comment.

 

Dirty Laundry, Toys, Books, Shoes, & Baby Equipment Everywhere! That's What Makes Me Happy - Lessons from the Grant Study & David Brooks' "The Life Reports II"

 

Post-Thanksgiving Laundry Bliss?? 

 

 

 Dirty Laundry. 

Enjoy exactly where you are now--whatever your age or circumstances.  It's OK to be young--and it's OK to be old. 

And, if you're so lucky, enjoy the piles of dirty laundry gathering on the floor from the kids and grandkids and company when they come to visit & bring their messes!

-Dr. George Vaillant, the Grant Study's  lead investigator for the last 42 years-

If you received this post via email, click here to get to the web version with all the links.

By 2:30 pm on this post-Thanksgiving Sunday, the last of my kids had headed out the door for the long journey home.  Car travel with the same challenges of everyday life.  Constant rain.  Terrible traffic.  A fender bender.  Crying, wet, & hungry children.

And my husband & I leisurely started the "Great Post-Holiday Clean-Up".

Thanks to Dr. George Vaillant, I've completely reframed dirty laundry, toy-strewn floors, poopy diapers, 10 pairs of shoes at the doorway, and messy houses to mean, "Happiness, joy, family, and good times."     Really!

It's not often that I'm so deeply touched by (& actually remember) the lessons of a long-running sociological study--but the Grant Study is one that keeps echoing in my head.   The picture of piles of shoes at the door & the piles of laundry in the basement is what does it for me.  This past weekend was no exception.  

Back in May of 2009 I summarized Joshua Wolf Shenk's memorable Atlantic essay about the Grant Study in "What Makes Us Happy? Insights from Harvard's Grant Study - Joshua Wolf Shenk & Dr. George Vaillant Answer In The Atlantic".    I just reread it.  You should, too!

 

"Is there a formula--some mix of love, work, and psychological adaptation--for a good life?  For 72 years, researchers at Harvard have been examining this question, following 268 men who entered college in the late 1930s through war, career, marriage and divorce, parenthood and grandparenthood, and old age."

-Joshua Wolf Shenk, in "What Makes Us Happy?"  The Atlantic, June 2009-

 

If Only I Knew Then What I Know Now

 

Eleven Grant Study Lessons for Twenty-Somethings to Ninety-Somethings

 

1.  Age 25-35 is the toughest for virtually everyone.  It's scary stuff--what will I amount to?  But all you need is to give it time--things will work out!  It's not about keeping up with the Joneses or how much money you're making.  (H.L. I keep reminding my kids about this one!)

2.  Emotional crises, pain & deprivation are "analogous" to the involuntary grace by which an oyster, coping with an irritating grain of sand, creates a pearl.  Humans, too, when confronted with irritants, engage in unconscious but often creative behavior." 

3.  "Pessimists seemed to suffer physically in comparison with optimists--perhaps because they're less likely to connect with others or care for themselves."

4.  Relationships Rule!  "It is social aptitude, not intellectual brilliance or parental social class, that lead to successful aging."  Warm connections are necessary--and it doesn't have to be from mom or dad--it can be with siblings, uncles, friends, or mentors.

5.  Relationships at age 47 predicted late-life adjustment better than any other variable, except defenses.

6.  Good sibling relationships.  Getting along with your brothers & sisters is especially powerful:  93%  of the men who were thriving at age 65 had been close to a brother or sister when younger.

7.  Between ages 50-75 Life Improves.  Altruism & humor grow.  The negative unhealthy behaviors start to diminish.

8.  Gratitude and joy, over time, will yield better health and deeper connections--but in the short-term, they do put us at risk, because they expose us to rejection & heartbreak.

9.  What's the most important lesson that Vaillant (the lead investigator) has learned from the study?  "That the only thing that really matters in life are your relationships to other people."

10.  Happiness is about playing and working and loving.  And loving is the most important of them all.  Happiness is love.  Full stop.

11.  Enjoy exactly where you are now--whatever your age or circumstances.  It's OK to be young--and it's OK to be old. 

 

My Morning Coffee with the NYT's David Brooks:  The Life Reports II

 

I planned to write all about "Feeding the Family for Five Days--the Winners & Losers in the Thanksgiving Food Fest".    No worries, I haven't given up that plan.  I still want to share the recipes that we liked best--and give you a "heads-up" on what needed improvement.

But, then I read David Brooks' column , "The Life Reports II", this morning--and I was on to a more important tack than food.

Life Lessons from folks over seventy. 

Notice some of the similarities to the Grant Study.

 

David Brooks wrote:  "A few weeks ago, I asked people over 70 to send me “Life Reports” — essays about their own lives and what they’d done poorly and well.

They make for fascinating and addictive reading, and I’ve tried to extract a few general life lessons."

 

It's worth reading--but, honestly, I somehow expected more.  Absolutely, read the Life Report of B. Clewly Johnson!!   His top ten lessons are all winners in my book! 

Here are David Brooks' 10 nuggets of gold:

 

1.  Beware of rumination.   Steer clear of obsessively over-analyzing every emotion, relationship, slight,  setback, or disappointment.   Balanced thoughtful self-examination is a good thing.  Rumination is not.

The ruminating essayists "often did not lead the happiest or most fulfilling lives.  It’s not only that they were driven to introspection by bad events. Through self-obsession, they seemed to reinforce the very emotions, thoughts and habits they were trying to escape."  (H.L. Very similar to #3 of the Grant Study lessons.)

2.  Sometime Self-Deception is a good thing.   Think of it as optimism. "Many of the most impressive people, on the other hand, were strategic self-deceivers. When something bad was done to them, they forgot it, forgave it or were grateful for it. When it comes to self-narratives, honesty may not be the best policy."   (H.L. I'm a huge fan of looking for the silver-lining.  Notice how similar this is to #2 in the Grant Study lessons?)

3.  You can't control other people.   One of Brooks' essayists, "David Leshan made an observation that was echoed by many: 'It took me twenty years of my fifty-year marriage to discover how unwise it was to attempt to remake my wife. ... I learned also that neither could I remake my friends or students.'"   (H.L. Amen to David Leshan!)

4.  Lean toward risk.  "Many more seniors regret the risks they didn’t take than regret the ones they did."   (H.L. I readily admit it.  I'm risk-averse, but have to agree with this one.  I've almost always been rewarded when I've taken a risk. Like in this post from 3 1/2 years ago: Worried, Nervous, Anxious, Afraid? Remember - Courage Comes With Practice!)   "There's no doubt about it---Everything wonderful & memorable in my life has come when I pushed beyond my fears, covered my eyes, held my nose & took a leap.  Well, on second thought, maybe not everything.  A lot of good things have come because I'm sensible, not a risk-taker, and cautious.  It's all about balance.  Courage coupled with common-sense.)

 5.  Measure people by their growth rate, not by their talents.  Live your life with relentless self-expansion.  I like the sound of that!  According to Brooks, "the best essays were written by people who made steady progress each decade."   Who wants to reach their peak in high school or college?   (H.L. I'm hoping I'll reach my stride by age 75.)

6.  Be aware of the generational bias.  This one didn't surprise me much.  Most of Brooks' post-70-something essayists "had ambivalent attitudes toward their parents."  It really was a different generation.  "Many writers mentioned that given their own flaws, they are astounded that their kids turned out so well."  (H.L.  I agree with them--and many of my friends say the same about their kids.)

7. Work within institutions or crafts, not outside them.  "For a time, our culture celebrated the rebel and the outsider. The most miserable of my correspondents fit this mold. They were forever in revolt against the world and ended up sourly achieving little."

8.  It's too bad we have to make our most important decisions in our 20's, at the age when we're least qualified to do so.   (H.L. No way around this one.  In our 20's we often choose our career paths and our mates--decide where we'll live & whether or not to have children.  Crazy!  If only we knew then, what we know now--hindsight is 20-20.  It's the luck of the draw at age twenty--my advice is to seek counsel from people who are wise, happy, honest, self-aware, & successful--and I mean "successful" in the broadest sense of the word.)

9.  People get better at the art of living.  "By their 60s many contributors found their zone. Metaphysics is dead; very few of the writers hewed to a specific theology or had any definite conception of a divine order, though vague but uplifting spiritual experiences pepper their reflections."   (H.L. Exactly what we learned from the Grant Study.   Between ages 50-75 Life Improves.  Altruism & humor grow.  The negative unhealthy behaviors start to diminish.)

10.  Finding the balance between hard-earned realism, self-preservation, generosity, & being present for others in our life.  Brooks is disturbed by the contradictory philosophies many essayists wrote about.  "For example, we are told to live for others. But one savvy retiree writes, 'Don’t stay with people who, over time, grow apart from you. Move on. This means do what you think will make you feel okay — even if that makes others feel temporarily not okay.'”  Is that selfishness, Brooks wonders.  (H.L. I don't have a problem with these contradictions.  Common sense & balance in all things!  It's possible to hold 2 contradictory outlooks in your hand at the same time--and use them "as necessary".  Isn't this the same sage advice of Hillel?  If I am not for myself, who will be for me?  If I am not for others, what am I?  And if not now, when? )

 

I'd love to hear your feedback on both the Grant Study Lessons, and Brooks' Life Reports II.

Have any of them proven true in your life?  Or not.

Any guiding life lessons or rules you can share with us?

 

The Research Behind the "Gratitude Attitude" - It's Thanksgiving, TIme to Give It a Serious Try - It's a Win-Win for Everyone!

 

 

 

 

If you received this post via email, click here, to go to the web version with all the links.

The kids are all arriving this afternoon.

As I laid in bed this morning, I wasn't thinking about all the final preps I needed to do for Thanksgiving.  

I was thinking about all the things I'm thankful for.  Honestly, I couldn't stop.  There is just way too much to be grateful for.   From my absolutely wonderful husband, my family, my friends, my health, getting to know the Esselstyns & changing what I eat, my job, all the positive feedback I get from generous blog readers---to the view out my window, my public library, my warm bed, a toilet that flushes, running water, a car that works, the umbrella I found in my car yesterday when it was pouring...

The list just goes on & on.

And I promptly told my husband how grateful I was for him.  He squinted at me & said, "OK, what are you trying to get me to do, now?"     "Nothing--I mean it!!  I'm so grateful that you're in my life!" I said.

You see, two days ago I read John Tierney's article, "A Serving of Gratitude May Save the Day," in THE SCIENCE SECTION of the New York Times--yep, you heard that right.   An article on gratitude in the science section.  Huh?  What's up with that?

Tierney cites a number of reearch studies that conclude:  developing the habit of thankfulness is a sure-fire way to quell anxiety, neutralize anger & bitterness, increase happiness, eliminate depression, and help you to sleep better.

Who doesn't want more of that!

Yes, yes, I know.  This isn't new stuff.  We have Dr. Martin Seligman, of the University of Pennsylvania, to thank for getting the research on positive psychology rolling.  Thank you, Dr. Seligman!

 

Thanksgving--the Day to Begin the Gratitude Attitude

 

OK--I'm going to wrap this up quickly.  I still have to make the cranberry relish, roasted mushroom soup, & country meatless loaf!

Just read the whole article--it's pretty short--and besides, it's a fun read.  You need a break about now, anyway!

For me, the best part of the article was how "mood changing" it is to be thoughtful & generous to each other--with our words and actions.   Just telling someone that:  they look great, they did an awesome job--and you noticed it!, you appreciate what they did, you're grateful for their help, the time or the attention they gave to you, you value their opinions, you're so happy they're your friend, you love the card/email/article/whatever they sent you, or you're thankful they're a part of your life.   You get the picture.

I have two friends--in particular--who do this all the time.  They're generous with their praise, time, enthusiasm, compliments, hugs, & warmth.  They're my role models.  Both of them have had serious trials & difficulties in their lives.  But, yet, they're the happiest people I know.  And they make friends with everyone who touches their lives--from the grocery store clerk, to their hair stylist, to the janitors where they work.  

Amazing women.  Thank you both!

 

The Tierney Nugget I Love Most

 

Try it on your family.

No matter how dysfunctional your family, gratitude can still work, says Sonja Lyubomirsky of the University of California, Riverside.

“Do one small and unobtrusive thoughtful or generous thing for each member of your family on Thanksgiving,” she advises.

“Say thank you for every thoughtful or kind gesture. Express your admiration for someone’s skills or talents — wielding that kitchen knife so masterfully, for example. And truly listen, even when your grandfather is boring you again with the same World War II story.”

Don’t counterattack.

If you’re bracing for insults on Thursday, consider a recent experiment at the University of Kentucky. After turning in a piece of writing, some students received praise for it while others got a scathing evaluation: “This is one of the worst essays I’ve ever read!”

Then each student played a computer game against the person who’d done the evaluation. The winner of the game could administer a blast of white noise to the loser. Not surprisingly, the insulted essayists retaliated against their critics by subjecting them to especially loud blasts — much louder than the noise administered by the students who’d gotten positive evaluations.

But there was an exception to this trend among a subgroup of the students: the ones who had been instructed to write essays about things for which they were grateful. After that exercise in counting their blessings, they weren’t bothered by the nasty criticism — or at least they didn’t feel compelled to amp up the noise against their critics.

“Gratitude is more than just feeling good,” says Nathan DeWall, who led the study at Kentucky.

“It helps people become less aggressive by enhancing their empathy.

“It’s an equal-opportunity emotion. Anyone can experience it and benefit from it, even the most crotchety uncle at the Thanksgiving dinner table.”

Share the feeling. Why does gratitude do so much good? “More than other emotion, gratitude is the emotion of friendship,” Dr. McCullough says. “It is part of a psychological system that causes people to raise their estimates of how much value they hold in the eyes of another person.

Gratitude is what happens when someone does something that causes you to realize that you matter more to that person than you thought you did.”

 

And Finally - How Howard White Changed My Life

 

Last thing.  I promise.  This is a repeat of one of my favorite posts.   Howard White made I huge impression on me--and I want to pass it on--in case you've never seen this post--or have forgotten about it.

 

The Power of Hello - A Lesson from Howard White and His Mother

 

Originally posted on HHLL October 20, 2008

“I speak to everyone I see, no matter where I am. I've learned that speaking to people creates a pathway into their world, and it lets them come into mine.”

-Howard White, Vice President of Nike's Jordan Brand & "This I Believe" essay author-

I had never heard of Howard White or his mother before today.  When I read his NPR "This I Believe" essay I realized he learned something from his mom, that I learned from my sons.

In my younger, shyer, self-conscious, more insecure days I admit to not always saying, "Hello" to people I knew, let alone strangers.  Sometimes I was in too much of a hurry--or it felt too awkward to say hello to someone I didn't know well to start with, or hadn't seen in years.  Or I didn't want to have to answer a lot of questions. It was a nasty habit.  I even admit to occasionally pretending to be engrossed in a conversation with someone else, just so that I could avoid saying, "Hello"  to someone else.  Ick!!

But something switched in my brain over the years.  Here's a case where my kids taught me how to behave.  I noticed that as they got older they knew everyone--and they made an easy practice of talking to strangers.  They had no problem traveling by themselves to foreign countries and they met people wherever they went.

I decided I wanted to be like them.  And I decided to start with baby steps. (ignore the similarity to Bill Murray's "What about Bob?")  First I would say hello by name to all the service people I meet up with everyday.  Tina at the dry cleaners, Sid and Nancy at the gym, Marcy at the library, and Debby at the grocery store.

Then I decided it was time to introduce myself.  I knew their names.  They should know mine. I really started to enjoy life in the "up close and personal zone".  And I made it a rule to never miss an opportunity to say, "Hello".

From there I progressed to striking up conversations with people I saw everyday in passing at work, in the locker room, or in my exercise classes, but hadn't actually spoken to before.   All of sudden I knew about the lives, interests, and families of scores of people who I had never talked to before.

I was never a person "who made the first move."  Turns out, most people are that way, and someone has to "make the first move," or relationships don't happen.

A couple of people who I had mistakenly thought were sourpusses were nothing of the sort.  They were friendly interesting engaging people who just don't say "Hello" to people they don't know.  They were just like I was.

Today, I can't imagine greeting everyone with whom I make eye contact, at least with a smile. (well, within reason--I am sensible--after all)  Grocery lines, movie lines, restroom lines, ferry boats--all are opportunities to learn something new.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Howard White says it a lot better than I can.  His original essay was read on NPR on August 14, 2008.

The Power of 'Hello'  by Howard White

I work at a company where there are about a gazillion employees. I can't say that I know them all by name, but I know my fair share of them. I think that almost all of them know me. I'd say that's the reason I've been able to go wherever it is I've made it to in this world. It's all based on one simple principle: I believe every single person deserves to be acknowledged, however small or simple the greeting.

When I was about 10 years old, I was walking down the street with my mother. She stopped to speak to Mr. Lee. I was busy trying to bulls-eye the "O" in the stop sign with a rock. I knew I could see Mr. Lee any old time around the neighborhood, so I didn't pay any attention to him.

After we passed Mr. Lee, my mother stopped me and said something that has stuck with me from that day until now. She said, "You let that be the last time you ever walk by somebody and not open up your mouth to speak, because even a dog can wag its tail when it passes you on the street."

That phrase sounds simple, but it's been a guidepost for me and the foundation of who I am.

When you write an essay like this, you look in the mirror and see who you are and what makes up your character. I realized mine was cemented that day when I was 10 years old. Even then, I started to see that when I spoke to someone, they spoke back. And that felt good.

It's not just something I believe in; it's become a way of life. I believe that every person deserves to feel someone acknowledge their presence, no matter how humble they may be or even how important.

At work, I always used to say hello to the founder of the company and ask him how our business was doing. But I was also speaking to the people in the cafe and the people that cleaned the buildings, and asked how their children were doing. I remembered after a few years of passing by the founder, I had the courage to ask him for a meeting. We had a great talk. At a certain point, I asked him how far he thought I could in go in his company. He said, "If you want to, you can get all the way to this seat."

I've become vice president, but that hasn't changed the way I approach people. I still follow my mother's advice. I speak to everyone I see, no matter where I am. I've learned that speaking to people creates a pathway into their world, and it lets them come into mine, too.

The day you speak to someone who has their head held down and when they lift it up and smile, you realize how powerful it is just to open your mouth and say, "Hello."

Postscript:

In March of 2010, this post received the following comment from a HHLL reader.

I work on the Nike HQ campus, and see Mr. White frequently in the cafeteria. I had no idea who he was, but I can tell you he really does practice this. He is always on the alert to say hello! BTW he also is a very snazzy dresser. A vivid and bright personality all the way around!

Posted by: Diane | March 20, 2010 at 07:51 PM

 

This Week's Round-Up: Book Club, Brunch, HGK's Plant-Strong Potluck, Fall Wellness Weekend, and Yoga for Back Pain

 

 

Healthy Girl's Kitchen Plant-Strong Potluck Extravaganza

 

Chef AJ was in Town & Cooking Up a Storm

 

Curried Caulifower, Chickpea, Sweet Potato Soup  (Who Made This Soup???)

 This Delectable Soup was a Crowd Pleaser--Here's the Recipe

Wish I Knew Who to Credit!  Mystery Solved.  It's Val the Librarian.

Bengali Curry of Cauliflower, Kidney Beans served on top of Chipotle Whipped Sweet Potatoes (My Contribution)  Recipe Here

 

Chef AJ's Thai Noodle Salad Deliciousness Loaded with Blanched Veggies

(Get the recipe here)

Jane Esselstyn's Tasty & Easy 4 Ingredient Barbecue Tempeh Pineapple Tacos 

 

Chef AJ's German Chocolate Cake 

 

Spicy Sweet Potato Italian "Sausage" Hash -  Served at Sunday Brunch (Get the recipe here)

 

It's Thursday morning--6:00 am.

I'll be leaving the house by 9:00 am and I won't get home until, maybe 9:30 pm.   Yup, I'm working late tonight.

But, before I leave home, I need to make breakfast, pack my lunch & dinner, & whip up a Green Smoothie.   (Here's what I packed: a green smoothie, a soy yogurt & berries, left-over Moroccan-Spiced Pumpkin Soup, Roasted Brussels Sprouts, & left-over Bengali Cauliflower Curry, of course)

And....before I leave home, I also need to tidy up the house a bit--and make sure the guest room is in "company order"--fresh sheets, enough blankets, blah, blah, blah.

On the way home from work I'll be picking up my friend Barb, who'll be sleeping over so we can high-tail it out of town before daybreak on Friday.   

So, where are we headed? 

We're off to Columbus, Ohio for the Fall Wellness Conference.  Remember? 

Dr. T. Colin Campbell, Dr. Ralph Moss, Dr. Caldwell Esselstyn, Ann Esselstyn, Dr. Janice Stanger, Chef AJ, & others will all be speaking---Friday through Sunday.  Six friends, and my husband will all be there.  And it get even better.  For once I don't have to pack lunch, or breakfast, or snacks, or anything.  Nada. There will be gourmet plant-based no-added-oil breakfasts, lunches, dinners, and snacks. Yay!

 

Thank You, Wendy of Healthy Girl's Kitchen!

 

Before I head out-of-town, I just want to give a BIG THANK-YOU to my friend, Wendy, of Healthy Girl's Kitchen, for hosting the best plant-based potluck you can imagine!  OMG!  The most intersting mix of guests, the most creative dishes, and I barely had a chance to scratch the surface of all the dishes atop her kitchen island.

Thank you Wendy.  Thank you Chef AJ.   You're the best.

 

What a Week It Has Been

 

1.  Saturday night was my turn to host the book club.  What is it now--twenty years?   All plant-based, no-oil  and delicious.   French Lentil Chipotle Dip, Oil/Egg Free Chocolate Chip Walnut Zucchini Bread, Moroccan-Spiced Pumpkin Soup, and I totally forgot to serve the Blood Orange & Raspberry Sorbert I had bought.  Oh, the book?  Unbroken, by Laura Hillenbrand.

2.  Sunday morning was a vegetarian brunch at Myra & Rick's with the Friday night dinner group.  A gorgeous blue-sky 65 degree day--and an extra hour to sleep in.  So much fun & another food extravaganza.  I'm totally loving my riff on a Robin Robertson recipe from Vegan Planet. A spicy, sweet potato & yam, onion, red pepper, Field Roast Italian 'Sausage" Hash.  Perfect for brunch. Cooks up in a jiffy with pre-roasted sweet potatoes--and this is a 100% man-pleasing dish.  Trust me on this.  Click here for the recipe.

3.  Tuesday night was Wendy's Plant-Strong Potluck with Chef AJ.  The best part?  I got to meet a number of local blog readers who I had never met before Tuesday--didn't even know they were reading my blog.   What a wonderful group of interesting warm people.   The craziest part--it turns out that at least 4 of them also work-out at the community gym I've gone to for over 30 years. Another reader I met is the manager of a local library, and another lives almost down the road from me. 

4.  Food-Photo-Texting.  Son #2, the single-not-much-of-a-cook-omnivore-lawyer sent me two-texts on Sunday with food photos.  What?  Now, that's a surprise.  Must be rubbing off on him.  Home-made steel-cut oats with berries for breakfast, and an awesome sandwich of baked tofu, avocado, tomato, & spinach on Ezekiel bread.

5.  And the newbie granddaughter?  She gained 2.5 pounds in one month---Woo hoo, miss cutie.

6.  I made my own seitan barbecued brisket (from scratch, I'll have you know) and it was out-of-this-world.  Think barbecued brisket sandwiches for lunch.  (pictures & recipe will follow in another post)

 

 

7.  I'm now on a mission to make my own Field Roast-style Italian, Apple Sage, & Chipotle Mexican Sausages--so I can enjoy "wheat meat" sausages without the oil that's added into the Field Roast.  Anyone want to join me in this experiment??

8.  Lots of exciting new medical research in the news this week.  I really need a separate post to give you all the details of each, but here are a few of my favorites.  News we can all really use!

• Yoga trumps traditional medical care for chronic & recurring lower back pain.  This article appeared in last week's Annals of Internal Medicine 2011;155:569-578 and I definitely took notice.  But this wasn't just any yoga.  This large, well-designed 12 month British study employed an Iyengar-style yoga that was practiced at multiple study sites, where students attended 12 weeks of yoga classes.  The movements are careful and slow.   Instructor's make sure that the students' positions are correct, and they teach safe postures & body alignment, along with relaxation.  But, gee whiz!  Why were the researchers surprised to find out that in order to keep back pain at bay--the students had to keep attending classes & practicing?  All the students received a book of detailed postures & routines for home study, as well as a relaxation CD.  Interested?  Here's the good news:   the book & the CD used in this study will be available for purchase around December, 2011.   Go to this website for all the details.   Go to this link for 2 short videos that explain the results of the study, and the specific yoga techniques that were used. [4]

Oops--I've run out of time!  More on the medical news....later.

 

Medical Research that piqued my interest this week:

 

1. Al Mheid I, Patel R, Murrow J, Morris A, Rahman A, Fike L, Kavtaradze N, Uphoff I, Hooper C, Tangpricha V, Alexander RW, Brigham K, Quyyumi AA. Vitamin D status is associated with arterial stiffness and vascular dysfunction in healthy humans. J Am Coll Cardiol. 2011 Jul 5;58(2):186-92.

2. Aronson WJ, Kobayashi N, Barnard RJ, Henning S, Huang M, Jardack PM, Liu B, Gray A, Wan J, Konijeti R, Freedland SJ, Castor B, Heber D, Elashoff D, Said J, Cohen P, Galet C. Phase II prospective randomized trial of a low-fat diet with fish oil supplementation in men undergoing radical prostatectomy. Cancer Prev Res (Phila). 2011 Oct 25

3. Heymach JV, Shackleford TJ, Tran HT, Yoo SY, Do KA, Wergin M, Saintigny P, Vollmer RT, Polascik TJ, Snyder DC, Ruffin MT,4th, Yan S, Dewhirst M, Kunnumakkara AB, Aggarwal BB, Demark-Wahnefried W. Effect of low-fat diets on plasma levels of NF-kappaB-regulated inflammatory cytokines and angiogenic factors in men with prostate cancer. Cancer Prev Res (Phila). 2011 Oct;4(10):1590-8.

4. Tilbrook HE, Cox H, Hewitt CE, Kang'ombe AR, Chuang LH, Jayakody S, Aplin JD, Semlyen A, Trewhela A, Watt I, Torgerson DJ. Yoga for chronic low back pain: A randomized trial. Ann Intern Med. 2011 Nov 1;155(9):569-78.

5. Zhu H, Guo D, Li K, Pedersen-White J, Stallmann-Jorgensen IS, Huang Y, Parikh S, Liu K, Dong Y. Increased telomerase activity and vitamin D supplementation in overweight African Americans. Int J Obes (Lond). 2011 Oct 11

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Three Years Later, I'm Still Transforming Traditions with Rice, Beans, & Squash - Celebrating the New Year with Family Who Are Like Friends & Friends Who Are Like Family

 

Rosh Hashana Eve - Barbara & Howard's Dinner Table

 

 

If you received this post via email, click here to go to the web version with all the links.

Two Weeks Ago, Mark Bittman Asked New York Times Readers This Question: 

"What Are You Cooking for Rosh Hashana?"

 

Of course, I couldn't resist throwing in my two cents.   Here's what I told Mark, on the morning before the New Year began.

 

The Healthy Librarian

U.S.A.

September 28th, 2011

9:54 am

Crazy how much my Rosh Hashana menu has changed over the years.

Never in a million years could I have predicted how much my menu would have changed!

This year it's 100% plant-based---and not just at my home--but at the homes where we've been invited.

Instead of Challah, I'm serving a multi-grain hearty loaf.

Dinner tonight is a Spicy African Sweet Potato, Red Lentil, Chickpea Stew, a Triple Rice Salad with Dried Fruits & Nuts and Field Roast Apple Sage "Sausages", a big green salad, & a Berry Crisp.

Lunch tomorrow is an all vegetable Mushroom Barley Soup, a Spicy Thai Peanut Slaw, a Sweet Potato Lasagna, & Jeni's Riesling Poached Pear Sorbet.

Here's the African Sweet Potato Stew recipe:

http://www.happyhealthylonglife.com/happy_healthy_long_life/2011/05/coco...

Here's the Triple Rice Fruit & Nut Salad:

http://www.happyhealthylonglife.com/happy_healthy_long_life/rice-fruit-s...

 

 

Yes, my holiday entertaining has done a complete turnaround these past three years.

Here it is 2011 & I just celebrated the eve of Rosh Hashana with a 100% plant-based dinner--and I wasn't even the one hosting the dinner--my good friends were.   That's what I call real change.   

We're talking about a holiday tradition that's steeped in brisket, roast chicken, chicken soup with kreplach, chopped liver, and potato kugel.  Followed up eight days later with lox, smoked fish, bagels, cream cheese, and cheese blintzes.  And we all know how hard it is to mess with tradition.  

On Rosh Hashana day I was the one hosting a plant-based lunch at my house.

As it often happens, Rosh Hashana fell mid-week this year, making it difficult to celebrate with my family, who all live out-of-town.  DC, St. Louis, Cincinnati, & Florida.  Which is why I'm so grateful for in-town friends who are like family.  (Read more about that below)

This week, my husband & I will be celebrating a very low-key Yom Kippur out-of-town with my oldest son, daughter-in-law, and grandson--while we help them out as they bring a brand new grandbaby into the family--any minute now.  Talk about being on pins & needles!

But, I have to be straight with you. 

Food really is not the main event for this holiday.  It's a once-a-year chance to stop what you're doing--and take a serious accounting of what's been going on in your life over the past year--especially in your relationships with everyone you know, as well your community, and the world-at-large.

So, this week I'm thinking about all the times I've certainly missed the mark!  Never intentionally.  Never consciously.  Never on purpose.  Which is the heart of the problem.  Right?

I admit it---This year I've taken my turn at being: unkind, thoughtless, uncaring, a no-show when I should have showed up, small-minded, gossipy, jealous, selfish--especially with my time, someone who jumped to conclusions without the facts, unsympathetic, uninterested in what someone was telling me, unenthusiastic, sarcastic, self-centered, dismissive, impatient, easily annoyed, short-tempered, blase, foolish, a know-it-all, lazy, egotistical, cheap, ungenerous (is that a word?), close-minded, wasteful, too busy, aloof, unwelcoming, or thinking mostly of myself.   And--I'm really a pretty nice person!  Most of the time I figure out a way to overlook or rationalize this nastiness--but I'm not that good at fooling myself.  I still know when I'm being a jerk. 

Which brings me back to how food is so inter-connected with celebrating the New Year. 

When I prepare food for guests, it's a chance to go out of my way--to inconvenience myself--carve out the time to prepare and share a special meal, invite others over, and celebrate with the people I love.  It always feels good to put myself out!

 

Rosh Hashana Eve

 

"Chopped Liver" Made with Lentils & Walnuts and Served on Crackers

 

Triple Rice Salad with Cranberries, Apricots, Currants, Pecans & Apple Sage "Field Roast" Sausage (click here for the recipe)

 

Simple Green Apple Salad with Assortment of Oil-Free Salad Dressings

 

Spicy African Sweet Potato, Red Lentil, Chickpea Soup  (click here for the recipe)

 

 
Barbara's Gluten-Free Peach & Berry Crisp Made with No-Added Oil Granola

 

 

Rosh Hashana Post-Synagogue Lunch

 

Rosh Hashana Lunch Table

 

"Cheezy" Kale Chips to Snack On Before We Got Started

 

Apples & Honey and Wishes for a Sweet New Year

 

An Old-Fashioned Mushroom Barley Soup (click here for the recipe)

 

Joyce's Sweet Potato Lasagna (click here for the recipe)

 

 Thai Peanut Slaw (click here for the reicpe)

 

Jeni's Riesling Poached Pear Sorbert (definitely, a treat)

 

The October 8, 2008 New Year's Post

 

Transforming Traditions - Rice, Beans & Squash and When Friends Become Family

 

Martha's Vineyard 2008

 

Land Between the Lakes, Kentucky 2011

 

 

This is the reposting of my Yom Kippur 2008 post.

What can I say?  It's one of my favorite posts---about a holiday that reminds us to stop what we're doing, and take ten days out to examine our spiritual, physical, interpersonal and communal responsibilities. 

How have we measured up?   Where have we missed the mark?   Where can we do better?

 

 

No brisket or matzo ball soup for me.

I'm making Butternut Squash and Apple Bisque.  Rice Salad with Roasted Red Peppers, Chickpeas and Feta Cheese.

No family coming home for this midweek Yom Kippur holiday.

I'm celebrating with friends who have become family.

Am I depressed? 

No, I'm grateful. Let me explain.

Sometimes you just have to transform the traditional.  Holiday fare doesn't always have to be brisket and matzoh ball soup.  Holidays can't always be celebrated with your family.  You can transform humble fare like rice, beans and squash into something truly spectacular.  And if your family lives out-of-town, your friends can be transformed into family. 

"Find a way to be grateful for what you do have."

On Monday at the gym I worked out on the weight machines & listened again to Rabbi Sharon Brous' High Holiday interview with Krista Tippett on "Speaking of Faith".

Here's what I remember most:

Think about what you have, not what you lack.

Rabbi Brous:  So many people walk around in life so aware of what they don't have, what they long for: the love that they haven't found yet,the absence.

They're so aware of the absence and what Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel says to us is, 'Look at the presents and figure out what you do have.

Look at the world with awe and wonder, and the amazing miracle that your skin holds the blood inside your body.'  That nature works the way that it works, that the world is as extraordinary as it is--because there are so many things wrong--but there are so many incredible blessings around us.

And part of our spiritual challenge he says, "is to understand that it is gratefulness that makes the soul great." And so, find a way to be grateful for what we do have because it's simply not fair to live in a world and only be conscious of what you do not have.

 

Think about what's really important in life.

 

Rabbi Brous:   Unetane Tokef--this incredible climactic prayer that comes in the High Holy Day services, is kind of pushing us to engage in the reality and possibility of our own death---who will live and who will die.

I mean, what this prayer basically says is: Realize that you cannot control if you will live or die, but you can control the way that you're going to live over the course of the year--and that's not some big amorphous ambiguous statement, like "feel good." 

But it actually means: go out and do these three things:

• Build a spiritual life for yourself.
• Fix your relationships.
• And fight for justice in the world.

 

Because ultimately those are the three things that matter in life.

Yom Kippur comes in the middle of the week this year--as it does on so many years.  My family is spread across the country and as much as we'd all like to be together, it's just not possible this year.

The same goes for my friends and their families.  We're empty-nesters. Our kids are out-of-town--our parents have passed away or live out-of-town.  Our siblings live in other cities.  But for many years now we've shared the holidays with each other, taking turns, and including each others' family when they are in town.  My friends have become family and the circle just seems to grow & expand in interesting ways.

My high school friends + college friends + our friends' friends + Fran's work friends + friends I've met through volunteering + Joyce's assorted friends + our relatives + our children (& their friends) when they're in town + each other's neighbors.  The guest list always changes, except for the core--my friends who have become family.

Last March I wrote about friendship and included this excerpt from an article from the New York Times, written by Sally Friedman and sent to me by my dear NY college friends.

Friedman writes about a group of college friends who have been getting together for the Rutgers Homecoming every year since 1961, and "How sweet it is."

 

"We had hit the stage of life when friends become family, something you may have to live in order to understand.

We needed one another more than ever.  Our parents were all gone, our children were far-flung, and some of us had even lost easy contact with siblings who had moved to places with lyric names in Arizona."   (note to my sib & sibs-in-law:  this does NOT apply to you!)

 

 

RICE, BEANS, AND SQUASH TRANSFORMED - Here's what's cooking in my kitchen for Yom Kippur

 

 

*Note:  I reworked these 3 year old recipes, and removed the olive oil & feta cheese from the original ones.  In fact, this sounds like a perfect menu for this year's Yom Kippur dinner or break-fast.

Butternut Squash and Apple Bisque - from Laura Samuel Meyn

1 medium butternut squash (about 2 1/2 lbs) (my shortcut: buy the precut butternut squash at Trader Joe's
1/4 cup of vegetable broth (to saute the onions)
1 medium sweet onion, peeled and chopped.
1 1/2 cups chopped carrots (my shortcut: use pre-shredded carrots)
2 medium Granny Smith apples, peeled, cored and chopped
1 TBS chopped peeled fresh ginger
5  cups vegetable broth
1 cup apple cider
2 TBS dark brown sugar  (or maple syrup or agave)
1/2 cup  regular (not low-fat) soy milk
2 tsp garam masala (available in the spice aisle of many supermarkets) (add more if you like)

1. Heat oven to 400 degrees.  Cut butternut squash in half lengthwise.  Using a spoon or melon baller, remove seeds and discard.  Place squash halves, cut side up, in large baking dish.  Brush cut sides of squash with olive oil.  Roast squash until tender, about 1 hour.  If using the precut squash, mix with a tablespoon of olive oil & roast until tender, could be as quick at 15-20 minutes.

 

2. Heat up remaining 2 TBS of olive oil in a large heavy pot over medium heat.  Add onion and saute for 5 minutes.  Add carrots and saute vegetables until tender and beginning to brown, about 8 minutes longer.  Add apples and ginger; saute 2 minutes.  Stir in broth,  water (or cider), and brown sugar (may want to omit if using cider).  Using a spoon scoop roasted squash from the rind & add to the soup. Cover soup and bring to boil; uncover, reduce heat to medium-low, and simmer until apples and all vegetabls are very tender, about 20 minutes.  Cool slightly.

 

3.  Working in batches, puree soup in blender (or use an immersion blender). Return to pot.  Stir in 1/2 cup of the cream.  Stir in enough water to thin soup, to desired consistency, about 1 cup.  Return soup to simmer.  Stir in garam masala.  I use a lot--but add slowly & keep tasting. Season soup to taste with salt and additional brown sugar or garam masala.  Soup can be made up to a day ahead.

Yield:  8 servings

 

 

Rice Salad with Roasted Red Peppers, Chickpeas, and Feta Cheese- from Jeanne Lemlin's "Simple Vegetarian Pleasures"

2 1/2-3 cups cold cooked brown rice (Made from 1 cup rice boiled in 2 1/4 cups water)
1 (16 oz.) can chickpeas, rinsed well and drained
3/4 cup crumbled feta cheese  (note: I no longer eat feta--but I'm going to substitute 3/4 cups of crumbled Tree of Life brand Hot n' Spicy Smoked Tofu or the regular Smoked Tofu--it's very "cheese-like" in texture)
2/3 cup diced roasted red peppers, store-bought or freshly roasted
1/2 cup chopped fresh Italian parsley
1/4 cup chopped fresh dill
3 scallions, very thinly sliced

The Dressing

1/4 cup fresh lemon juice
2 garlic cloves, pressed or minced
Generous seasoning freshly ground black pepper
Salt
1/4 cup silken firm Mori-Nu Light Tofu

 

1. Combine the rice, chickpeas, feta cheese (or smoked tofu), peppers, parsley, dill, and scallions in a large bowl & toss well.

2.  Combine the tofu & lemon juice in a blender & mix well--the tofu helps to emulsify the lemon juice.

3.  Combine the lemon juice/tofu mixure with the garlic, salt, & pepper and whisk well--or shake it all up in a jar with a tight-fitting lid.  Pour the dressing on the rice mixture and mix thoroughly.  Let sit at least 1 hour or up to 8 hours before serving.  Serve at room temperature.

Yield:  4 main dish servings.

 

 

Wishing You All a Happy Healthy New Year--Regardless of When You Celebrate the New Year

 

What's Life Like Cruising in the Plant-Based No-Oil Lane? 10 Days in the Life of the Healthy Librarian with all the Boring Details. We Get By With a Little Help From Our Friends, Family, & Blog Readers. Recipes, Too!

 

Drawing by Robert Krulwich 

 

These Things I Know To Be True

 

 How Do You Change the Way You Eat?

1.  Get educated.  Here's a good start.

2.  Learn to cook food that tastes delicious.

3.  Do it day after day until it's a habit, and your preferences change.

4.  Find a support group of like-minded people to inspire you.  Habits are contagious.

-The Healthy Librarian-

 

 

How can we change our behavior?

"So, in seeing it differently the temptation is less. And the way we do that, as Aristotle understood years ago, is through habits.

We have habits of politeness. We have habits of self discipline. And you change your mind by changing your behavior.

Or as the Alcoholics Anonymous folks say, you fake it 'til you make it. And so by changing your behavior in small ways, that helps you control your impulses on the big things."

-David Brooks, interviewed by Diane Rehm on NPR about his newest book, The Social Animal, on Thursday, March 10, 2011-

 

 

Want to get really good at something? 

1.  Do it everyday!

2.  And find yourself a knowledgeable mentor who will give you constant feedback, point out your tiniest errors, and push you to take on tougher challenges.  Simple, huh?

-The advice of Malcolm Gladwell, Geoff Colvin, & Daniel Coyle, three authors who have studied success-

 

 

If you received this post via email, click here to get to the web site with all the links. 

Today I really did plan to write my follow-up post to: "Fifteen Months Into the Esselstyn-Style Plant-Based No-Oil Way of Eating - The Healthy Librarian Spills the Beans - And It's All Good! Can't Wait to Compare Notes with Bill Clinton on Saturday"     That's  going to be the one with my favorite tips, tools, recipes, & pantry staples.   But, my brain wrote an entirely different post this morning while I was taking a Spinning Class.   So, that's what you're going to get.

Sorry--I'll start that toolbox post as soon as I get this one out!

 

 

The Past Ten Days, Cruising in the Plant-Based Lane

 

 

I'll be honest with you.  The hardest part of sticking to a plant-based diet is eating out with friends, or getting together socially with friends & family.  It's easy to "eat right" at home.  But, when you venture into the "real world"--that's when the challenges really begin!

In July 2010 Dr. Pam Popper, who runs the Wellness Forum, and is featured in "Forks Over Knives" said something that really made an impression on me. 

"The longer I stuck with the plant-based no-oil diet, the less awkward & easier it got for me, socially.  

Once my family and friends realized that this was more than a fad for me--that I was really serious about it--they respected it.  They stopped bugging me.

They stopped pushing nachos, burgers & fries, & cakes my way.  They made sure there was going to be something I could eat when they invited me over."    paraphrased from a conversation with Dr. Pam Popper

 

Pam's right.  Now that I'm over 15 months into living in the "Plant-Based Lane", things have changed.  A lot.  

So--sticking with this whole theme of "what's in my toolbox of tricks" that keeps me moving on the "almost" straight-and-narrow plant-based path, I keep thinking about how this past week played out.  How effortless  "my so-called diet" has now become.  Basically, it's a non-issue.

And it really is a group effort, because of all the support I get from you, from my husband, my co-workers, my family & friends, the research I read, and the Esselstyns.

 

Thursday, September 8, 2011  

 

1.  The plant-friendly party at work:  My friend and co-worker, Marlene decided to treat the entire library staff to a deluxe catered Mexican lunch.  She had recently been recognized for her outstanding work with a Caregivers Award that came with cash--and she generously shared her bounty with all of us.  

Where am I going with this?   Support from co-workers, silly.  Marlene made sure that 1/2 of the lunch included vegan enchiladas, guacamole, salsas, vegetables & rice--nothing fried, no meat or cheese or dairy, no lard.  She also included a gorgeous fruit salad for dessert--and a healthy chip alternative to the typical tortilla chips.  

She did not have to do this--but she did!  Sure there was a platter of fried foods with pork, steak, cheese, & chicken flautas, burritos, & tacos---and plenty of chocolate chip cookies--but, she made sure there was a healthy alternative.  Update:  everything was devoured--leaving almost zero left-overs.   Learn more about the healthy librarians with whom I work, here.

2.  A surprising phone call from my niece:  M. left me a voice mail message.  "I need to ask you something.  Call me."   OK--I had no idea what this might be.  Turns out, she had recently watch CNN's "The Last Heart Attack"--and it made a huge impression on her.  She was ready to change how she ate.  But...now she had a new dilemma.  Her baby's pediatrician strongly recommended she start her very healthy active--but slim six-month old on meat, now!  She didn't want to--what did I think?

3.  A text from my daughter-in-law:  "So excited you posted the Tortilla Soup recipe...I have been craving that.  I also got [your Son #1] to agree to watch Forks Over Knives & read Dr. E's book. 

 

Friday, September 9, 2011

 

1.  Inspiring emails:  I continually receive inspiration from people all over the world who share with me their success stories of renewed health after starting a plant-based no-oil Esselstyn-style diet. Nothing beats reading about someone else's successes!  Some had heart attacks. Some had multiple bypasses.  Some had stents.  Some just wanted to get off of the poly-pharmacy treadmill.  Some did it for prevention.   On Friday I received some special ones, that knocked my socks off--along with plenty of great tips for salad dressing recipes and where one can eat out "safely".  Like this link to a Dr. McDougall listing of "safe" restaurant suggestions--you'll have to do a lot of scrolling.

2.  Grilling indoors.  I ran out of propane for my grill.  Who knew that my grill pan would do an even better job?   As my husband took off to usher at our synagogue, he asked if I could grill some quick MATCH "Chicken" burgers for dinner.  Sure.  No problem.  I mixed them all up--took them out to grill--and darn it!  The propane tank fizzled.  And the spare hadn't yet been re-filled.  Now what?   Bingo!  I heated up my Cuisinart Green Gourmet (no-Teflon) Grill pan & those burgers turned out absolutely delicious.

MATCH "Chicken" Burgers, Sprouted Wheat Bun, Lab Rat's Homemade Pickles, Baked Squash & "Fried" Yukon Gold Potatoes

 

This recipe comes from an old favorite Perdue Ground Turkey Burger Recipe that I refused to throw out.  My husband, son #2, friends Cheri, Neal, and their college-aged son are also fans of these burgers.  

 

Grilled "Chicken" MATCH Burgers (has soy, gluten, & a smidge of canola--so they're not-Esselstyn-approved)   

 

Click here to find out more about MATCH

 

1 pound package of MATCH Chicken

1 cup of Ian's whole wheat panko crumbs

1/2 cup chopped onion

1/2 cup chopped sweet red or green pepper

3 TBS worcestershire sauce (vegan or regular)

1 TBS dry mustard

1 TBS Dijon mustard

2 TBS ketchup (no/low sugar/salt preferred)

1 1/2 tsp. Bone-Suckin' Sauce Seasoning & Rub

1 + teaspoon curry powder

 

Mix it all together.  Make six patties.  If grilling outside, put these in a grill cage (to prevent sticking) because they're very very low fat--or grill them inside like I did, using a grill pan.   Do not overcook--don't want to dry them out.

We enjoyed them on an Alvarado Street Sprouted Wheat buns, with some baked squash, "fried" Yukon Gold potatoes, & Appetite for Reduction Cool Slaw.

 

 

 

Nutrition Facts Healthy Librarian's MATCH No "Chicken" Burgers (makes 6) Serving Size: 1 serving Amount Per Serving Calories 178 Total Fat 4.2g       Saturated Fat 0g       Trans Fat 0g Cholesterol 0mg Sodium 444mg Carbohydrate 21.3g       Dietary Fiber 5.3g       Sugars 3.4g Protein 15.7g Vitamin A 9% Vitamin C 44% Calcium    7% Iron 19%

 

 

 

 Saturday, September 12, 2011

 

1.  One of so many 9/11 10th anniversary stories that touched me deeply,  NPR's Story Corps "Slain Priest, Father Mychal Judge--Bury His Heart, Not His Love".  A highly recommended short read.

2.  Oatcakes with San Marzano Tomato-Kale "Gravy".  Received an email from Mike in Louisville (a guy who appreciates really good food) along with a fabulous-sounding recipe to try.  Long family history of early heart disease, & his 48 year-old sister's heart attack motivated him to go Esselstyn plant-based. Lost 45 pounds in six months.  I'm trying his recipe for dinner tonight.  My friend Fran is going to give it to her amateur chef-husband to test-drive it in his kitchen, too.  We'll let you know!

3.  Eating out with friends.  Asian Vegan.   On Saturday night, 10 of us gathered at a local Asian restaurant that has a wonderful gigantic round table complete with a Lazy-Susan--perfect for sharing dinners.   Plenty of vegan options, here--including the new addition of Gardein chicken.  But, certainly no oil-free options.  I should have asked--I didn't.  Of the 10 in our group--6 ordered meatless.  The times they are achangin'!  But, four hours later--my stomach felt uncomfortable--and I'm not one to ever have stomach issues.  It stayed with me all night.  No big deal--but it was there--nonetheless.  The dishes weren't oily--but I'm sure they weren't oil-free.  Was that the reason for the stomach woes?  Bottom Line: Dining out with friends is always fun--and I'm glad there are decent dining options.  Next time I'll specify, "no-oil" please.  I've done it before--I'll do it again.

4.  The After-Dinner Birthday Dessert.  Gourmet Sorbet works!  After dinner we all went to the home of one of the couples in our group for a "surprise" 60th birthday dessert.  Cake, Jeni's  Dark Chocolate & Buckeye Ice Cream, Jeni's Poached Pear Riesling Sorbet, & fruit salad.   I passed on the cake.  I couldn't pass up on a small taste of Jeni's Dark Chocolate, and I thoroughly enjoyed the Poached Pear Riesling Sorbet.

 

Sunday, September 11, 2011

 

1.  Post-Spin Class Girl-Talk Update with My Plant-Based Spin Buddy, Ms. C.   I hadn't had a chance to catch up with Ms. C for awhile.  I was in a rush--but, Ms. C had way too much to share.  It was worth it!

• She's been eating Esselstyn-style plant-based for over a year, now.  It was high time for a new wardrobe.  She promised herself she would wait a year before buying new clothes.  "How'd you manage that?  Your clothes had to be falling off!"  I said.   "Well, I did buy a few things. But, yesterday was a big shop."   She said she had reached the point of no-return.   Her old way of eating was now history for her and her husband.  They feel way too good, know way too much, and their health has improved so much--that she knew there was no going back.   Ms. C started this diet to support her husband's health--she was average weight--and thought she was in good health.  But, her subsequent weight loss--and her new & improved annual physical convinced her--and her doctor, that she was on to something!
• Following All the Rules.  No exceptions!  If you have heart disease, diabetes, or weight issues you cannot eat walnuts, avocados, Larabars, dried fruit, probably no more than 2 or 3 pieces of fruit a day, or add fruit into a Green Smoothie.  Some of us can get away with this.  Or maybe we're just kidding ourselves. Others cannot. They'll gain weight & won't see all the blood sugar & lipid improvements they're after.   Ms. C, my husband, & I don't have heart disease--and seem to be able to get away with these "sometimes-but-not-daily" additions to our diet without weight gain or problems.  Ms. C's husband knows he needs to be vigilant--and follow the rules!  I'm just saying.....
• Eighty-Something Enlightenment after CNN's "Last Heart Attack"--Ms. C's 80-something in-laws are the poster-children for why you want to eat plant-based--if you get my drift.  To them there's nothing wrong with corned beef sandwiches, brisket, lox & cream cheese, & cheesecake.  They didn't understand Ms. C's & her husband's new way of eating.  Not at all.  That is--until last Saturday. They confided to their grandson that they saw Dr. Gupta's show, "The Last Heart Attack".    It was a light bulb moment!  "Ah ha!  Now we understand why your mom & dad are eating that way!  We're glad.  Good for them!"    And good for all of us that Dr. Gupta so articulately explained the benefits of a plant-based no-added-oil diet.

2.  Kitchen Lab Experiments!  Lightening up Healthy Girl's Kitchen Creamy Asian Dressing recipe.  Wendy of HGK posted a delicious sounding redo of a Creamy Asian Dressing that was made with a 1/2 cup of olive oil.   Her redo subbed 1/2 cup of almonds for the oil, plus it had some toasted sesame oil in it.  

Hmm.  I wondered how it would turn out if I subbed Mori-Nu Low-Fat Silken Tofu for the almonds--and then subbed toasted sesame seeds for the sesame oil.   I loved how my re-do of Wendy's re-do turned out.

It makes plenty, and I loved it on top of Wendy's chopped raw broccoli, cauliflower, red pepper & currant salad.  I also mixed in some 100% soba (buckwheat noodles), along with some teriyaki baked tofu--for one delicious take-to-work lunch!

 

No-Fat Creamy Asian Dressing with Chopped Raw Broccoli, Cauliflower, Currants, Soba Noodles, & Teriyaki Tofu

 

 

No-Fat Creamy Asian Dressing (based on HGK's Redux Recipe)

Makes 2 1/4 cups

 

1 inch fresh ginger, peeled

1  cup of Mori-Nu Silken Low Fat Firm Tofu (in a box)

2 teaspoons of toasted sesame seeds

2 garlic cloves, peeled & chopped

4 tablespoons (1/4 cup) of mellow white miso

juice of one lime (2+ tablespoons of lime juice--more is fine)

6 pitted dates 

2 tablespoons of low sodium soy sauce, tamari, or Nama Shoyu

1/2 cup of water

Combine all the ingredients in your blender, Vita-Mix or food processor and blend until smooth & creamy.

 

Nutrition Information--based on 1/4 cup serving  (HGK's Redux is a big improvement over the 1/2 cup olive oil recipe, but it still clocks in at 80 calories per 1/4 cup serving, with 4.4 grams of fat--about 50% fat)

 

 

Nutrition Facts Healthy Librarian Creamy No-Added Fat Asian Dressing (1/4 cup servings) Serving Size: 1 serving Amount Per Serving Calories 42 Total Fat 0.5g       Saturated Fat 0.1g       Trans Fat 0g Cholesterol 0mg Sodium 380mg Carbohydrate 7.6g       Dietary Fiber 1.2g       Sugars 4.2g Protein 2.1g Vitamin A 0% Vitamin C 5% Calcium    1% Iron 4%

 

 

 

 

 

The Chopped Raw Broccoli & Cauliflower Salad with Soba Noodles & Dressing

 (based on Gena's Choosing Raw recipe)
  

 

 

Serves 4

 

3 heaping cups of broccoli florets

3 heaping cups of cauliflower florets

1 large red bell pepper, finely diced

1/3 cup currants

2 cups of cooked 100% buckwheat soba noodles (mix in 1/2 cup per salad)

Dress with 1/4 cup of dressing per each serving

Optional topping:  diced baked teriyaki tofu--1/2 of the normal serving

Finely chop all the vegetables.  Mix together.  

To serve,  mix soba noodles into the vegetable salad.  

Top with dressing (1/4 cup per salad)

 

Nutritional Information for 1 serving of salad with Creamy Asian Dressing--soba noodles & tofu not included:

 

Nutrition Facts Healthy Librarian's Redo Raw Broccoli & Cauliflower Salad wt Creamy Asian Dressing (no-added fat) Serving Size: 1 serving Amount Per Serving Calories 129 Total Fat 0.6g       Saturated Fat 0.1g       Trans Fat 0g Cholesterol 0mg Sodium 420mg Carbohydrate 27.4g       Dietary Fiber 6.7g       Sugars 17.7g Protein 6.1g Vitamin A 36% Vitamin C 250% Calcium    6% Iron 10%

 

Nutritional Information for 1 serving of the Salad with Soba Noodles & creamy Asian Dressing (tofu not included)

 

Nutrition Facts Healthy Librarian's Redo Raw Broc & Cauli wt Dressing & Soba Noodles Serving Size: 1 serving Amount Per Serving Calories 229 Total Fat 1.1g       Saturated Fat 0.1g       Trans Fat 0g Cholesterol 0mg Sodium 423mg Carbohydrate 48.9g       Dietary Fiber 8.2g       Sugars 18.7g Protein 9.1g Vitamin A 36% Vitamin C 250% Calcium    7% Iron 13%

 

 3.  The Book Club's House-Warming Dinner--Plant-Based Options Galore.   After the salad dressing experiment I needed to quickly get into gear to prepare my Grilled Italian Sausage, Onions, Peppers & Rice Dish  to take to the house-warming dinner we were having at the new home of one of the members--scheduled at 6:30 pm.

I've long ago ditched the oil in this recipe--and substituted extra lemon juice---but this time I decided to cut that acid taste, & substitute Low Fat Mori-Nu Silken Tofu for the olive oil/or extra lemon juice.  

I liked it.   And so did everyone else--every speck of this dish was devoured--and I couldn't enjoy seconds. But, not to worry--there was plenty of other plant-friendly food to enjoy, brought by the others in the group.  

An amazing oil-free gazpacho, a green salad--luckily I brought along some of my left-over Creamy Asian Dressing--and a delicious cold fruit soup.   The only dishes I skipped were salmon, chocolate brownies, & M & M's.   And there you go--this group went out of their way to leave out any extra oil or cheeses from dishes, where they could--like the soups, salsas, & salad.  Click here, scroll down a bit & read about my previous unhealthy lavish book club spread.  (and make note about the Alkalol mention in this post, too--amazing stuff!)

 

Monday, September 12, 2011

 

1.  The Happy Herbivore, by Lindsay S. Nixon.   Mary, the Librarian gives it a Big Thumbs Up!--says it's the only cookbook she's found that really has no-added fat.   Last week I finally got my copy of The Happy Herbivore.  I knew I wouldn't have a chance to do much with it, so I shared my copy with Mary--who took it home over the weekend.   She loved Lindsay's Cheddar Cheesy Sauce--served it over mashed potatoes--and brought some in on Monday for all of us to taste.  Not exactly cheddar cheese--but a delicious stand-in.  Mary returned my copy--and ordered her own.  Looking forward to cooking my way through this new cookbook.

2.  Pizza in the Pantry--my back-up plan.  Lab Rat was getting home late--and since I was the first one home--I did the dinner honors.  Thank goodness I always have all the fixings for pizza in my freezer & pantry.  Dinner on the table in 30 minutes.  Wasn't Lab Rat happy to find already cooked pizza when he got home at 8:00ish?   I've always got a stash of Sami's pizza crusts in the freezer, some Walnut Acres Low-Sodium No-Fat Pasta Sauce, mushrooms, sun-dried tomatoes, roasted red peppers, artichoke hearts, and  kalamata olives in the pantry, just in case!.  Get that easy breezy recipe here.

3.  My Sister-in-law left me a long voice mail message:  Diet's going great.  Not as hard as I thought it would be.  Only one minor transgression--no big deal.   Do you need some context for her message?  Click here

 

Tuesday, September 13

 

1.  A Vegan Pot-Luck Luncheon.   See how much has changed over the past 15 months?  Who could have predicted that I would be invited to a pot-luck vegan lunch given by a friend of a friend.  Wish I could have been there!  Looking forward to hearing all about it.

2.   My Sister Calls as I'm About to Leave Home.  "Hey, guess what I just bought?  Appetite for Reduction!"    Turns out, the first recipe she tried out was the Arabian Nights Lentil & Rice Soup.  click here for the recipe--and just scroll on down!  She & my BIL LOVED it!  She says her next foray will be the Buffalo Tempeh & Cool Slaw wrap.   Thank you HGK Wendy for turning me on to this recipe.  Just so happens to be my favorite.  I've made it at least 5 times.  Crazy that sis & I picked the same recipes to try out--we're like identical twins separated at birth!

3.  Nashville Fran calls to tell me her husband made some amazing lentil burgers over the weekend.  I want that recipe.  Her husband knows how to cook!

 

coming up Wednesday, September 14, 2011

 

1.  After work it's going to be Maj with my gal pals. We'll be lucky to get in three games with the way we like to talk & kibbitz.  We're going to be playing at a local restaurant that won't mind us taking up space for 3 hours--as well as someplace where we can get a plant-based dinner.   Who'd have ever predicted fifteen months ago, that this wonderful group of friends would now all be leaning in the plant-based direction?  Meet the Mahj ladies.

 

coming up Saturday, September 17, 2011

 

1.  Cooking up a special plant-based no-oil dinner to celebrate buddy Ken's milestone birthday!   Turns out the guests want to come early & help with the cooking!   Who could ask for anything more?   Well, maybe a glass of wine or beer to go along with the cooking.  Haven't planned the menu yet.  Anyone have some good suggestions for a celebration dinner?   Who's the birthday boy?  Seeing if you can figure it out?

 

 

I'm Serious!  Does Anyone Have a Plant-Based Amazing Dinner Party Menu to Suggest?  I'm All Ears!

Summer in the City - My Five Yes! Weekend. Healthy Girl's Kitchen Plant-Strong Pot-Luck, Friday Night Services, a Country Walk, a Book Club Talk, and an Island Bike Ride Adventure

 

My First "Yes" of the Weekend!  A Plant-Strong Pot-Luck Dinner at Healthy Girl's Kitchen/aka Wendy (photo by Wendy)

 

We get our greatest happiness from the experiences we share with our friends & family--not from expensive consumer goods.  "We know that the best predictor of human happiness is human relationships and the amount of time that people spend with family and friends."  Spend your time & money wisely.   Dr. Dan Gilbert swears by this research-backed advice. 

What's the point of staying healthy without having fun?  That's the reason we work at staying healthy.  I say "Yes!"  to fun things to do, trips, visits, outings, meeting new people, and dinners whenever I possibly can--without making myself crazy by overbooking or overcommitting. 

--The Healthy Librarian, from "The Report Card on the Healthy Librarian's 2010 Simple Strategies for Staying Healthy and Happy - What's Working, What's Not, What's New for 2011?"--

 

"I have plenty of time for the things that are important to me.  Say, Yes!"

Gretchen Rubin of "The Happiness Project"

 

 

If you received this post via email, click here for the web version--lots of pictures.

Here's how my five YES! weekend unfolded...

 

On June 17th Wendy, of Healthy Girl's Kitchen emailed me:

Wendy:  "Is there any Saturday night in July or early August that you and your hubby are available to finally do this?...I know how busy you are this summer!!!!!!!!!"

Me:  Yeah!  Sounds like lots of fun! You amaze me, lady.  I can't believe this--but it really looks like the only free Sats. are next Sat, June 25, & then July 30.  Crazy.  

I wasn't going to miss this dinner!  When it turned out that we couldn't find a Saturday night to "Pot-Luck", Wendy decided to do it on a Friday night--July 15th to be precise!

 

And so began the first of My Five YESes for the weekend of July 15-July 17, 2011.

 

Weekend YES #1.  Better Than Any Restaurant!  The Plant-Strong Pot-Luck Dinner at the Healthy Girl's Kitchen/Wendy

 

My Contribution--Antipasta Salad on Crusty Whole Grain Bread (photo by Wendy)

 

Since I had to leave my house 2 1/2 hours before the pot-luck was scheduled to begin, silly me forgot to bring my camera.  What was I thinking?  

Thankfully, Wendy is an amazing photographer & took lots of great pics--so hop on over to her blog & catch them all!  Here, here, and here.

The evening was terrific--23 people--some I knew--some I had just met--and a kitchen island topped with the most amazing array of plant-strong oil-free dishes you can imagine!  You can't find this kind of deliciousness at any restaurant that I know of.

Bring together a group of smart, fun, healthy, energetic, interesting people--who are adventurous and excellent cooks--and you have all the makings of a memorable evening!

Thank you, Wendy, for graciously opening up your home--and hosting this wonderful evening--that I suspect will be the first of many to come.   You are the hostess with the mostest--and you sure can cook!

Wendy has written three posts that you won't want to miss.  Her photos are pure Plant-Strong Food P0&N--and she's generously posted all the recipes.

• Food P0&N--the Pot-Luck Preview Post
• Plant-Strong Pot-Luck--The Food Post.  This one has the main-dish recipes.
• Plant-Strong Pot-Luck--The Desserts 
  

 

My Insider's Review

Honestly, I loved every dish I tasted, but there was so much there, I didn't have room on my plate, nor in my stomach to taste them all.

Here are my favorites, the ones definitely plan to make at home:

• Prosecco (an Italian sparkling wine) with Lavender Elixir, on ice.  Quinn's contribution?? OMG!  Beautiful & delicious.  I'm bringing a bottle of that Lavender Elixir to my friend Marge's home this Friday night, for her Half & Half Italian Pot-Luck.  Half Plant-Strong/Half Omnivore. 
  
• Jane Esselstyn's Thai Cole Slaw.  Spicy, creamy, crispy, a multi-layered crazy fusion dish.  We even made it last night for dinner--it's that good!  And BTW, this is really a-quick-to-fix-dish. The dressing would be fantastic on soba noodles with vegetables.  Wait--the slaw would work great with soba noodles mixed right in.
• Quinn's No-Oil Roasted Corn Chowder based on Terry Walter's Clean Food Recipe.  Fabulous, with fresh herbs from Quinn's garden.
• Toby's Thai Spring Rolls with Spicy Peanut Dipping Sauce. Crisp, raw julienned vegetables wrapped up in Asian rice wrapper.  Oh my, so delcious.
• Wendy's Helluva Halavah Bitty Balls (Truffles) for dessert.  A sinfully delicious mixture of raw cocoa, raw sesame seeds, maca, date syrup, tahini, & more.  This comes from Chef AJ's not-to-be-missed cookbook & inspirational personal memoir, Unprocessed.
• Chef AJ's Disappearing Lasagna--made by Chris.  I've made this one at least 4 times!  A definite winner.
  

 

Weekend YES #2.  Go to Synagogue Services Before Wendy's Pot-Luck?  I Didn't Know That Wasn't on the Schedule!

 

Once a month my husband is a volunteer usher at Friday night services.  And he never misses--unless we're out-of-town.  He's that kind of guy.  Dependable.  Who knew that his turn would be the same night as Wendy's Pot-Luck?  Certainly not me!  Until the last minute.

Uh.  How are we going to do both?  No problem.  We can do this.  It just meant we had to leave the house two hours earlier than I'd planned.  Packed the Antipasta Salad in the cooler--and picked up ice on the way.  It was 90 degrees outside.

My YES #2 surprise.   My "reward" for adding "one more thing into this evening" was serendipitously reconnecting with my old friends, Shelley & Michael, who I haven't in seen in way too long of a time.   Get this--they don't belong to our synagogue--but there they were--on this particular Friday night. 

The other sweet surprise of the evening was running into Debra at services--and finding out she discovered my blog through her sister.  Lots of fun plant-based talk.  I'm always surprised by people who serendipitously discover my blog.

And we still got to Wendy's on-time.  Sort of.

 

Weekend YES #3.  The Saturday Morning Walk with Bonnie

 

This YES! came from Bonnie, not from me.  As I was heading to the grocery store on Friday, to pick up the fixings for my pot-luck antipasta--I called Bonnie.

 

Me: "Hey, do you want to walk on Saturday morning?"

Bonnie:  "Yes!"

As far as I'm concerned, a walk in the country with a friend is one of the pleasures of life.  Talk, walk, commiserate, sunshine, exercise, and the great outdoors. 

Thanks, Bonnie, for saying, "YES!"

 

Weekend YES #4.  The "Welcome to the Monkey House" Saturday Night Book Club

 

This Saturday night we talked about two short stories from Kurt Vonnegut's Welcome to the Monkey House. 

Here's the email I received:

"Let's read two short stories (total of about 25 pages) from Kurt Vonnegut's collection called Welcome to the Monkey House. The book should be easily available at your local library, or maybe it's on your own shelf.

Harrison Bergeron and Welcome to the Monkey House (the story) are both about government-mandated social engineering as viewed from the 1950's -- and I think they'll be interesting to consider in light of the political / social issues we're thinking about today.  And they are a fun read -- KV was a comedian by some people's measure."

 

My third YES! of the weekend was a  group "YES"!

If I've got my years straight, this book club will be meeting for nineteen years, this August, and that's because five couples continue to say, "YES!  Let's  keep doing this.  Let's set the next date before we start talking about the book."

And here we are, 19 years later--our kids are grown up--some of us now have grandchildren--and we're still meeting. 

We all appreciate the opportunity to stretch our minds, think, and discuss writing that takes turns being enriching, classical, enlightening, disturbing, emotional, heart-breaking, thought-provoking, or controversial.

Three months ago we decided to try something new.  Instead of just reading books, we're branching out.  

• Short stories
• Watch a movie or documentary
• Read in-depth magazine articles from the likes of the New Yorker, The Atlantic, Vanity Fair, or the New York Times Magazine, etc.
  
• Speeches
• Whatever the host chooses

In May we read "Annals of Science.  The Truth Wears Off.  Is There Something Wrong with the Scientific Method?"  Jonah Lehrer.  The New Yorker,  December 13, 2010.

In July it was Kurt Vonnegut.

In September we'll watch a film festival entry,  and discuss it over dinner at an Indian restaurant.

 

Weekend YES #5.  Do You Want to Take Our Bikes to Kelley's Island on Sunday?

 

Kelley's Island - No Need to Travel to Martha's Vineyard for an Island Bike Ride

 

I told my husband that Bonnie & Bob took their bikes over to Kelley's Island on July 5th for a day-long biking adventure.  They loved it.  It's flat.  There are hardly any cars.  And it's a beautiful ride.  There's a nice beach, a cute town, and even an open-air Tiki Bar with live music.

He got right on the case.  Checked the ferry schedules.  Checked the weather for Sunday.  And said to me: "Let's go this Sunday."

I said, "YES!"

 

I Packed Our Lunch.  Hot n' Spicy Smoked Tofu (my new favorite) Hummus, Pickles, & Roasted Red Pepper Sandwiches.  Cherries & Homemade Energy Strawberry Carob Energy Bars

 

We Loaded Up the Bikes - I Meant, My Husband Loaded Up the Bikes

 

The Ferry Ride Over

 

On the Ferry - Just a Fifteen Minute Ride to the Island

A Breezy Traffic-Less "Coastal" Bike Ride to the Beach

A Little Beach Reading - Chef AJ's Unprocessed & the New York Times Sunday Magazine

 

Enjoying That Picnic Lunch on the Beach

 

The Bike Ride Continues -The View from the Road

 

Good Thing We Brought Our Lunch - Here's What Everyone Else Was Eating at the Open-Air Tiki Bar

Heading Back to the Mainland

 

Picked Up Corn at the Local Farmer's Market

 

Strawberries, Too!

 

And Some Peaches

 

Left-Over Buffalo Tempeh Wraps with Cool Slaw & Fresh Sweet Corn for Dinner

 

A wonderful FIVE YES! Weekend!!! 

 

1.  Healthy Girl's Kitchen Plant-Strong Pot-Luck

2.  Friday Night Services with Serendiptious Reconnections

3.  Saturday morning walk in the country with Bonnie

4.  Saturday night "Welcome to the Monkey House" book club

5.  Sunday Kelley's island bike ride adventure

 

It hit all the right bases. 

Spirituality, Good Food, Thought-Provoking Discussion, Connecting with New Friends & Old, Outdoor Exercise,  Out-of-my-comfort-zone Adventure, and Alone Time with My Husband.

After 5 hours of biking in over 90 degree heat, I was fast asleep by 10:00 PM!  So, good sleep, too!

 

"I have plenty of time for the things that are important to me.  Say, Yes!"

 

 

 

My Tuesday with Morrie, Mitch, Michael, Anna, and Marty. The Best Advice for a Life Well-Lived. Soul Food.

 

  

 

"Every since I got my first library card & could walk to the library myself I've been hooked on the medical/health/self-improvement book shelves."

-From the Healthy Librarian's Blog Profile-

 

If you received this post via email, click here to get to the web version.

Tip:  Skip over my ramblings--and go right to the essays!  The real "heart" of the post!

When I was a kid, summer lasted forever.   Endless lazy sunny days stretched out one after the other with plenty of time for  playing on the street, porch sitting with my friends, going on bike hikes, swimming at the local pool---and best of all---walking to the library all by myself & bringing home a stack of books to explore.  I'd stretch out & get cozy on the front porch glider & just enjoy a lazy summer afternoon with my "freshly picked" stack of library books.

This Tuesday just happened to feel exactly like one of those perfect sunny summer days from the late 1950's. 

I even made a library stop on my way home to pick-up this Saturday's book club selection, Kurt Vonnegut's  collection of short stories, Welcome to the Monkey House.   Our assignment?  To read two short stories: Harrison Bergeron & the book's namesake, Welcome to the Monkey House.  I read the book in college, but I have zero memory about those 2 stories. 

And of course, I couldn't resist taking a look at the library's shelf of New Non-Fiction.  It's my ritual every time I go into my local library.  Here's what I plucked off the shelves: my freshly picked stash.  

There was something eerily familiar about this past Tuesday that took me straight back to my 9 year old summer-self with those lazy summer days & my pile of books on the porch.

• Katie Couric's, The Best Advice I Ever Got.  Lessons from Extraordinary Lives.  Couric's the former CBS Evening News anchor & 60 Minutes correspondent.
• Martin Seligman's, Flourish.  A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-Being.  Seligman's the brilliant University of Pennsylvania professor and founder of the research-based academic study of positive psychology.
• Bill Moyer's, Bill Moyer's Journal.  The Conversation Continues.  Award-winning news journalist, PBS anchor, and founding organizer of the Peace Corps.
• Diane Ackerman's, One Hundred Names for Love.  A Stroke, a Marriage, and the Language of Healing.  Best-selling author of the Natural History of the Senses.
• Maira Kalman's, The Principles of Uncertainty.  Well-known illustrator extraordinaire--with an eye for history, philosophy, and what's important in life.  If you haven't a clue as to who she is--check this out.  You'll be glad you did! 

 

I dove straight into Couric's, The Best Advice I Ever Got, as soon as I had the chance!  This is right up my alley.   I can't resist short essays--from people I respect--that share their best advice, life lessons and thoughtful insights.  I want their short bottom-line pearls!  I crave reminders to reach higher, be better, & enjoy life, in spite of all the curve balls. 

And that's exactly what you'll find in Couric's book.

Here's how Katie's book was born:

"Last year, when I was giving a commencement address at Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland, I decided to try something new.

What else could I tell these young, bright students who were about to take flight into the world, eager to make their mark?  Because I've had the privilege of meeting and interviewing so many remarkable people through the years, I decided to ask a few of them to share their personal insights.  What have you learned?  What lessons from your own lives might be useful and instructive?"  

Then Couric cast her net even wider.  To people she admired--but didn't know.

Their advice isn't just for those who are starting out; it's for those who are starting over, just taking stock--a reminder of what is important and how we can better live our lives everyday.  It's for everyone!

 

This book is filled with the best advice that leaders & visionaries in "politics, entertainment, sports, philanthropy, the arts, & business"  have to offer.  Sure, some of these "stars" wouldn't be my choice of who I'd go to for advice--but it's Couric's book--not mine.

After a quick look-through the book, three essays immediately grabbed my attention--and I thought, "These need to be shared--not just sit in a book waiting to be read by only a few."  You can be the judge as to how valuable (or not) this advice is to you.  

Definitely check out all of the essays in Couric's book--get yourself a copy from your library--or local book store.

This post goes out to son #2 who shares my quirky love of "Best Advice" essays from "experts"--and who's also a huge fan of "Tuesdays with Morrie", Albom's first book. 

 

 

"Giving is Living",  by Mitch Albom, Best-Selling Author, Journalist, and Philanthropist

 

 

"Morrie was dying.  We came to sit by his side.  Family.  Friends.  Former students.

Not everyone was so comfortable.  Death can make you squeamish. Many visitors, I noticed came with a plan.  They were going to tell happy stories, share jokes, show photos.  They'd go into Morrie's office, where he lay motionless in a long chair.  The door would shut.  And an hour later they'd emerge in tears.

But they were crying about...their job, their divorce, their issues.

"I went in to cheer him up," they'd say, sniffing, "but he started asking me about my life and my problems and next thing I know, I was bawling."

I watched this happen so many times that finally I went in to Morrie and said,

"I don't get it.  You're the one dying from ALS, this awful, debilitating disease.  If ever anyone has finally earned the right to say, 'Let's not talk about your problems, let's talk about my problems,' it's you!"

He looked at me sadly.

"Mitch," he whispered, "why would I ever take like that?  Taking just reminds me that I'm dying."  He smiled.  "Giving makes me feel like I'm living."

Giving makes me feel like I'm living.

It is a profound little sentence.

And some of the best advice I've ever received.

Our culture, of course, tells us the opposite.  The more you take, the more alive you are.  The more money in your bank account, cars in your garage, or shoes in your closet, the more you are winning the game.

But think about your final moments in this world, like the ones Morrie endured.  At that most crucial time, when you are clinging to life, all that you own will be of no use to you.  What purpose will a sports care serve at that point?  Jewelry?  A big-screen TV?  Chances are that stuff won't even be in the room.

All that will matter at that precious point, is that the people who love your are by your side, right?  Well, the people who love you will likely be the ones to whom you gave time.  The ones to whom you gave warmth and affection.  When you most want to feel alive, the things you gave will be the things that return.

Try it sometime--maybe the next time you're depressed or blue.  Maybe the next time taking something or achieving status doesn't make you as happy as you thought it would. 

Instead, go someplace where you're needed--talk to a struggling friend, cheer up someone in a hospital, scoop potatoes at a soup kitchen.  You'll be surprised how energized you feel afterward, how your blues may quietly disappear when you see someone who has it worse.

And if, on your way out, you get the small tingle in your stomach when those people whisper, "Thank you"?

That's being alive.

And it comes from giving, not taking.

Morrie, once again, had it right."

 

Side note:  The night before I read Albom's essay, I happened on a poignant & beautiful short essay by Celia Watson Seupel, "What She Has to Offer" in the New York Times.  It had me in tears.  It's a must-read if you've ever cared for an aging parent.   And as crazy as it sounds, I saw a movie called, Harvest, the night before, as well.  Serendipity! 

 

 

"Be Grateful", by Michael J. Fox, Actor, Bestselling Author, Activist

 

 

"As much as we can, it's helpful to be in a place of gratitude.

None of us is entitled to anything.  We get what we get not because we want it, or we deserve it, or because it's unfair if we don't get it--but because we earn it, we respect it, and only if we share it do we keep it."

 

 

"Courage is the Ultimate Career Move", by Anna Quindlen, Bestselling Author, Pulitzer Prize-Winning Journalist

 

"Here is my favorite biblical direction:  Be not afraid. 

It's truly the secret of life.  Fear is what stunts our growth, narrows our ambitions, kills our dreams.

So fear not.

Oh, I have enough of a memory of my own youth to know that that sounds preposterous.  You are surely afraid: of leaving what you know, of seeking what you want, of taking the wrong path, of failing the right one.  But you can't allow any of that to warp your life.  You must have the strength to say no to the wrong things and to embrace the right ones, even if you are the only one who seems to know the difference, even if you find the difference hard to calculate.

Too often we still live with the pinched expectations of a culture of conformity, which sees daring as dangerous.  Go along to get along:  that's its mantra.  Only principled refusal to be terrorized by these stingy standards will save you from a Frankenstein life made up of other people's expectations grafted together into a poor imitation of existence.  You can't afford to do that.  It is what has poisoned our culture, our community, and our national character. 

No one does the right thing from fear, and so many of the wrong things are done in its long shadow.  Homophobia, racism, religious bigotry:  they are all bricks in a wall that divides us, bricks cast of the clay of fear, fear of that which is different or unknown.

Too often public discourse fears real engagement or discussion;  it pitches itself at the lowest possible level, always preaching to the choir, so that no one will be challenged.  Which usually means that no one will be interested.  What is the point of free speech if we are always afraid to speak freely?  If we fear competing viewpoints, if we fail to state the unpopular because of some sense of plain-vanilla civility, it is not civility at all.  It is the denigration of the human capacity for thought.  Open your mouth.  Speak your piece.  Fear not.

Remember Pinocchio?  There is a Jiminy Cricket on your shoulder, giving the very best advice.  It is you, your authentic self, the one you were in first grade, before you learned to massage your personality into a form that would suit others.  Sometimes it's hard to hear its message because all the external voices are so loud, so shrill, so adamant.  Voices that loud are always meant to bully.

Do not be bullied.

Acts of bravery don't always take place on battlefields.  They can take place in your heart, when you have the courage to honor your character, your intellect, your inclinations, and yes, your soul by listening to its clear, clear voice of direction instead of following the muddied messages of a timid world. 

So carry your courage in an easily accessible place, the way you do your cellphone or your wallet.  You may still falter or fail, but you will always know that you pushed hard and aimed high.

Take a leap of faith.  Fear not Courage is the ultimate career move."

Side Note:  Read Theresa MacPhail's short This I Believe essay, "Courage Comes with Practice".  It's one of my favorites!

 

So, sometime before the summer ends, get to your library, check out a bunch of books that will teach you something, inspire you, make you think, or just give you a few hours of blissful escape!

Find a comfortable chair on your porch--or in your yard--and just enjoy a lazy sunny summer day!

Thank Goodness for Books!

Any recommendations out there?

Brain Food: Rock & Siegel's Healthy Mind Platter of the Seven Essential Daily Activities for Maintaining Well-Being

 

Brain Food: The Seven Ingredients for Mental Well-Being

 

"[I]t seems we've entered an ERA of OVERWHELM. 

A time when too many people's mental well-being is being stretched through multi-tasking, fragmented attention and information overload.

The trouble is, we are short on simple, clear information about good mental habits.

Few people know about what it takes to have optimum mental health, and the implications of being out of balance.

Without good information about the mind and brain, we may be stretching ourselves in ways that may have bigger implications than poor eating habits."

-Dr. David Rock, the executive director of the NeuroLeadership Institute, writing for the Harvard Business Review blog, "Maintain Your Mental Well-Being"

 

 

Click here to go to the web version if you received this via email.

Every now & then I read something that's so wise, yet so simple--that rings true to my own experiences--that helps me to better understand my everyday reactions & feelings--and then gives me clear directions on how to make positive change happen in my life.

That's exactly what discovering Dr. David Rock & Dr. Daniel Siegel's, "Healthy Mind Platter"  has done for me.  Riffing off of the USDA's brand new Choose My Plate  recommendations for a healthy diet--Rock & Siegel have incorporated the latest neuropsychological research to visually share with us the 7 daily  activities needed for  "good mental nutrition."  

Sometimes you just have to hear common sense advice from an "expert" to really believe it!

 

• Ever notice how cranky, impatient, & fuzz-thinking you feel after a night of too-little sleep?
• Is there any comparison between a long walk & heart-to-heart talk with a close friend versus connecting via emails, texts, or phone calls?
• What about all those constant interruptions at work--or at home--when you're trying to complete a project that takes a lot of mental focus?  The emails, phone calls, barrage of questions, comments, and the daily work chatter.  Can anyone really concentrate in a cubicle office?  What about the sheer joy you feel when you're so focused on a project that you completely lose track of time?
• And how often do you allow yourself the luxury of 100% do-nothing piddle around unscheduled time at home?   Rarely--I'm guessing.  Whoever just sits on a park bench, their couch, or in their backyard--or drives in their car or "ambles about"-without being connected or plugged into something that takes up all their attention--like the radio, an iPhone or iPod, a cellphone, a laptop,  a book/magazine/newspaper, or a companion?  I'm talking about 100% quiet time to just think or reflect.  No one I know.

This is a topic close to my heart--and one that I've written about often.  How can we find the right balance between purposeful work, family, friendships, self, obligations, & health?  How do we fit everything into our lives without making ourselves crazy busy, unfocused, stressed out, feeling put-upon, or unhealthy?

What can we cut out?  What should we add in?

 

Rock & Siegel's Seven Essential Mental Activities for Optimum Mental Health

 

"This platter has seven essential mental activities necessary for optimum mental health in daily life. These seven daily activities make up the full set of 'mental nutrition' that your brain needs to function at its best.

By engaging regularly in each of these servings, you enable your brain to coordinate and balance its activities, which strengthens your brain's internal connections and your connections with other people."

 

The seven essential mental activities are  (click here to go to Rock's full blog post):

 

Focus Time. When we closely focus on tasks in a goal-oriented way, taking on challenges that make deep connections in the brain.

Play Time. When we allow ourselves to be spontaneous or creative, playfully enjoying novel experiences, which helps make new connections in the brain.

Connecting Time. When we connect with other people, ideally in person, richly activating the brain's social circuitry.

Physical Time. When we move our bodies, aerobically if possible, which strengthens the brain in many ways.

Time In. When we quietly reflect internally, focusing on sensations, images, feelings and thoughts, helping to better integrate the brain.

Down Time. When we are non-focused, without any specific goal, and let our mind wander or simply relax, which helps our brain recharge.

Sleep Time. When we give the brain the rest it needs to consolidate learning and recover from the experiences of the day.

 

Consider this, folks!  Four of the activities essential to mental health involve No Purposeful Action!  That's right--to feel our best we need to carve out daily time to wind down, chill out, play, & sleep!  All activities that aren't goal-oriented.

 

Big thanks to my daughter-in-law who emailed Rock's HBR Blog post to me yesterday--at work--completely interrupting my focus (just kidding!) 

Apologies to all of you if this is "old news"--the HBR post came out on June 3, 2011.

As for me, it's totally liberating to learn that Down Time "doing absolutely nothing,"  Time In  "taking time out to just sit quietly & think", Play Time, and Sleep Time are as important to my well-being as are healthy food, exercise, purposeful work, and friendships.  Doing nothing will never more be considered  a "guilty pleasure"--it's an essential one!

And it's so validating to learn that what I know in my heart to be true for me: Focus Time, Connection Time, & Exercise Time are all key players for happiness & well-being.

 

 

What's your opinion of the Essential Seven?

Any tips on how to make time for them all?

Do you agree or disagree with Essential Seven?

 

 

 

Contagious Habits: How Healthy Eating, Weight Loss, & Disease Reversal Spreads - We Really Do Get By With a Little Help From Our Friends

 

Drawing by Robert Krulwich

 

"In 2007, two scientists, Nicholas Christakis and James Fowler poured through 32 years of data collected during a multigenerational heart study in Framingham Massachusetts.

The data included sketches of who was friends with whom and changes in peoples' body weight.

What the scientists discovered says Jonah Lehrer, [in a Frontal Cortext blogpost "Contagious Habits: How Obesity Spreads) is that "obesity spreads from person to person, much like a contagious virus."  To read the classic Christakis/Fowler article in the N Engl J Med, click here

All this sounds like social scientists are blaming fat people for making other people fat.

But when Alison Aubrey, [NPR's health writer,] asked Dr. Christakis if that was his finding, he wouldn't go there. True, this hasn't happened in America thus far...but logically, he said: 

'The same kind of phenomenon that contributes to an obesity epidemic could potentially — potentially — be harnessed to contribute to a reversal of the epidemic, because it's equally the case that one person losing weight contributes to the other people around them losing weight.'

But whether we get fatter or skinnier as a nation, the deeper lesson here is that we are not masters of our destiny, not really.

"It turns out," Jonah Lehrer says, "that the habits and hungers of others shape our own, that we unconsciously regress to the dietary norms around us."

-"Do Our Friends Make Us Fatter?  by Robert Krulwich, NPR April 28, 2011-

 

If you received this via email, click here to get to the web version with the links & video.

After I heard Krulwich's "my-friends-make-me-fat-big-excuse" piece on NPR I wanted to call him up.  And  Dr. Christakis, too!  Here's what I wanted to say:

 

"Hey, Bob & Nick, come on over & check out my world--from where I sit, that "Christakis/Fowler's contagious habits" theory really can work in reverse--helping people to lose weight & get healthier, not just fatter. 

One person's weight loss (& change to a more plant-strong diet) can be just as contagious--once your friends & neighbors realize it's not just a fad--and when they start seeing the concrete results. 

Bit by bit, many of the people in my social network are now making changes--some large--some small--but changes, nonetheless!"

 

 

 

Follow My Social Network Dots. 

 1.  Threee years ago I was motivated to change my diet when I heard Dr. T. Colin Campbell speak at my hospital--followed up by hearing Dr. Caldwell Esselstyn's clear explanation on how to prevent & reverse heart disease (& dementia, diabetes, & hypertension along the way) by simply ditching the typical American diet for one that's plant-based.  My light bulb moment.

2.  Then I met Esselstyn's wife, Ann, at my gym.  Just running into her a couple times a month reinforced the changes I had started to make on my own.  "Why add 2 TBS of oil to your black bean soup when you can saute your vegetables without any!"  she challenged me. 

3.  And my early changes quickly spread to my husband.  Thankfully, he's a good sport and he bought into my eating adventure big time! 

4.  The longer I stuck with this, the more it became a lifestyle change--not a fad--and then it began to spread to my kids & to some of their friends, and then on to my closest friends, my sister-in-law (a little bit to my sister), both of my brother-in-laws, one of my nieces, a couple of gym friends, some of my co-workers, the folks who read my blog, and then on to perfect strangers from around the world.

5.  And the same thing has happened to everyone I know who's been eating this way for awhile.  Their diet changes end up influencing some of their friends, families, & colleaugues!  Even some 80-something parents!

 

Support from Stangers in a Virtual World?

 

Here's the strange thing.  I'm a live and-let-live kind of person.  Not into judging other people's food choices nor do I try to convince anyone of anything.   [Unless I'm challenged.]  I've eaten too many baby back ribs, Big Macs, mac-n-cheese, corned beef sandwiches & chocolate chip cookies over the years to judge anyone.  I try to do my own thing--quietly.

In my day-to-day life, I don't talk about how I eat, nor do I mention that I write a blog, unless I'm asked.  My name, and where I work isn't on my blog.  I'm not even on Facebook. 

So what's my point?  Healthy habits are as viral as bad ones!  Here I am, under the radar,  and I start getting emails from friends & aquaintances I know--who have somehow discovered my blog on their own--and then from friends of friends, even doctors & nurses at my hospital, folks from all over the U.S., and as far away as Hong Kong, New Zealand, South Africa, Ireland, Japan, and France--and even seeing  my posts translated into languages I can't even recognize. 

That's when I realized how contagious good habits (& a plant-based diet) really can be.  How much we all need support from each other--if we want to eat plant-strong in a world filled with Big Macs, 16 ounce steaks, bloomin'  fried onions, and double-cheese pizzas....

And now when my friends & blog readers tell me about the major health changes they've seen in themselves when they go plant-strong--like weight loss, lower blood pressure, normal blood sugar, improved lipid numbers, stamina, and getting off their prescription meds--it's like having a continuous feedback loop that motivates, inspires, and supports me.

And I reap all sorts of benefits.  Many generously share their successes, new recipes, tips, the new products they discover, websites & blogs, articles, the latest medical research, recommendations for cookbooks, veg friendly restaurants, and of course their support.

 

Karen & Judy - East Coast & West Coast Plant-Strong Blog Readers I Recently Met at Starbucks When They Attended Dr. Esselstyn's Class

 

My Biggest Surprise - How Easy It's Become to Share Meals with Friends & Family - It Doesn't Have to Be a Big Deal

Sharing meals with friends and family is a huge part of my social life.  At first, putting limits on what I was willing to eat when I ate out felt uncomfortable and awkward, and it made me feel self-conscious & apologetic--like I had to explain or defend myself--and I didn't want to have to do that.  I don't like feeling like a party pooper or a goody-goody.  I'm neither.

Here's my big shocking surprise:  I no longer feel "out-of-place" or like a weirdo about eating plant-strong.  My friends, family, and co-workers all seem to "get it"--some are now eating this way themselves--others are almost there, some are slowly moving in that direction--and the rest are more than willing to figure out a way that we can break bread together.

Turns out--people are quite accomodating--as long as you're not on a soapbox.

• When my meat-loving friend Marty comes to town next week we're having dinner at a hip organic locally-sourced restaurant where he can have hand-ground steak tartare topped with a barely cooked egg & pomme frites fried in duck fat if he wants-and I can have curried spaghetti squash topped with toasted chickpeas, heirloom garlic & lemon if I want.  A win-win for all of us.
• Who'd have ever thought this would happen?  Our last Friday night dinner group was plant-strong.  Same for our Passover seder.  My mahj group's snacks & the book club's casual dinner & snacks are veg-friendly, and even our special work lunches had a plant-strong option--because a bunch of us are now eating this way.   
  
• Holy Toledo!  I'm not a proselytzer, nor out to convince anyone.  We all want to live our own lives--and make our own decisions.  And it certainly took me a long time to change my own eating habits.
  

 

"I know my friends thought this would be a phase that I'd quickly tire of, but my commitment has surprised them all. Now when I entertain guests, like I did last night, we dine plant-strong and they enjoy it."    from G., a reader

 

 

Meet the Healthy Librarians Where I Work.  It's the Sisterhood of the "Too Big" Pants

 

1.  First I was the token "plant-stronger" of the library. 

2.  Then came Mary, the skeptic--who believed in olive oil & Greek yoghurt--until she read Dr. Esselstyn's Prevent & Reverse Heart Disease in one weekend.   It made good medical sense to her--she was a nurse before she became a librarian.

She decided to ditch the *dairy, the oil, and cut down on the chicken and fish.  Then she ditched the chicken--and has fish every once in a while. *She still splits her yoghurt between soy & dairy because of soy's high price.  Anyone know how to make your own inexpensive soy yoghurt with a yoghurt maker?  She'd love to know!

Two months after starting to eat plant-strong, she was taken by surprise when her pants started to fall down as she jogged from the parking lot to the library.  She knew she was losing weight, but hadn't bothered getting on a scale.  It was time to buy new pants. 

Now she's down two sizes--back to what she weighed in her twenties.  Honestly, I think she's ready to go down another size.  Oh, and this lady is a lifetime exerciser who has avoided sugar for over 20 years!  Olive oil & yogurt didn't work--plant-strong-no-oil eating did!

• 17 pounds lost in 4 1/2 months--effortlessly--no calorie counting, measuring, or portion control.  Just huge quantities of delicious food.
  
• Her new cholesterol numbers:  Total: 140 (from 176)--LDL: 80--Triglycerides:  41--HDL: 52
• BMI is now in the healthy range--which means she now qualifies for the health insurance rebate at work!  
  
• She's become a plant-strong cook extraordinaire--and is a constant source of new recipes for me.  She's making green smoothies, eating PB2, oatmeal with spinach, chipotle lentil loaf, cheeseless pizzas, no-oil pestos with Field Roast Italian sausage, lentil cutlets with balsamic reduction sauce, makes her own salad dressings and more.  Everyday she's bringing in one amazing creation after another for us to taste.
  

3.  Then came Snez.  Another skeptic, at first.  Cooking without oil?  Using almond milk?  Huh?  But she's European and grew up on real whole food--lots of fruits & vegetables--she "gets" it.

• She's ditched the olive & cooking oil.  "This is so easy to do."
  
• She's also making cheezy spinach steel-cut oats--alternating with the fruited kind.
  
• She's ditched the dairy--loving the non-dairy versions.
  
• Occasionally she eats meat, chicken, cheese, & fish--but it's getting to be less & less.
• She's also enjoying green smoothies--and using chia
  
• She's making simple hearty meals of vegetables, grains, & beans--converting many of her stand-by favorites to plant-based.
  
• She's also ready to move down a size!  Another member of the "sisterhood of the "too big" pants".

4.  Then came Marlene.  Another skeptic.  But after she was hit with a surprise cancer diagnosis, a plant-based diet started making sense.  Did her recent weight gain, sugar cravings, or too many restaurant meals have anything to do with the cancer?  No way to know.  She figures she can't control the chemicals & pollutants she's exposed to, her genes, or her past--but she can control what she eats now.

• She's the non-cook of the group, but thanks to Amy Cramer of Dinners Done Now, she can pick up a week's worth of plant-based no-oil soups, entrees, & snacks--so, she's able to eat mostly plant-based without too much cooking.  And it costs her far less than eating out ever did.
• She's now into steel-cut oats for breakfast, and brings her lunch to work much more often than before.  She's appalled at the lack of vegan offerings in our hospital cafeteria--and by how much fat & salt are in the options offered.
• She's noticed how much her tastes have changed.  She now prefers plant-based.  Restaurant options now taste too oily & too salty, and her stomach notices.
• She's become a vocal advocate for better meal options at our hospital--and prominent signs with the calorie, nutrient, &  ingredient information.  She now notices how much fat-laden salad dressing the hospital servers ladle onto the cafeteria salads.  She's also pushing our local Whole Foods to offer classes on how to make fast & easy plant-based meals. 
• Yes, she still eat out--but she's disenchanted with the options--and trying to limit it to once a week.
• She's feeling better & better & has recently received some excellent health reports from her physicians--and is hoping to continue to see improvements in the future.

5.  Then came Jodith  She's been trim & healthy all her life, but lately the pounds are creeping up---and plant-based is looking like a good solution.  She's inching closer to making a switch, or at least a partial switch.  She knows that if she doesn't bring the cheese, the oil, the chicken, or the goodies into her house--she won't eat them. 

• She's thrifty, so first she's using up the non-veg food that's stored in her freezer and not buying any more.
• She's now sauteeing without oil.
• She loves cheese.  She grew up on cheese.  But now she's eating less of it--and getting closer to cutting it out!  She's stopped buying it & only has some Parmesan left in the refrigerator.
• She's experimenting with plant-based dishes, like an amazing wheatberry waldorf salad made without oil, and a hearty vegetable soups.
• RIght now she's deciding on the best plant-based cookbook to buy.

So, there you have it!  The Healthy Librarians.  All doing their own versions of "Plant Strong(er)".  Moving at their own pace and their own comfort level.

Everyday we're supporting & encouraging each other.

Most of us bring our lunches to work instead of buying, so we get to sample each others fare, hear about the dinners-that-rocked, and try out new oil-free plant-based recipes on each other.  I'd call it good health gone viral!  A case of contagious good habits.

We're no longer sharing our homemade cookies & cakes--we're sharing our soups, stews & curries.

 

Contagious Habits--In My "Real" & "Virtual" Neighborhoods--Support & Inspiration

 

Almost daily I get emails with stories of improved health--from people who switched to a plant-based diet. Some with serious health issues--some just wanting to improve their health--or get off of prescription medications.

Here are few I've shared in the past, in case you missed them:

•  Sharing Success Stories - People Who Wanted More Than a Prescription to Increase Their Odds of a Healthy Future - They've Made Lifestyle Changes "For Life!"

• Follow One of Dr. Caldwell Esselstyn's Patients - Q & A on the First Three Months of a Diet to Prevent & Reverse Heart Disease

• When Even Your Pharmacist Notices How Healthy You Look


And just a few from the past two weeks:

 

My Neighbors, K & J

I'll be honest--these two really surprised me! 

Two weeks after seeing Forks Over Knives, armed only with a copy of The Engine 2 Diet, borrowed from me, K & J decided to go plant-based, oil-free--just like that!  It took me years--they just dive right into it!

After three months they're still going strong.   When we joined them for a movie 2 weeks ago, K couldn't have been more pleased. 

He'd lost 10 pounds in 10 weeks, without even trying.  Easiest way he's ever found to lose weight--he just eats whatever & whenever he wants to--just whole foods--no animal products or oil.  No portion control, no calorie counting.  He hasn't been this low in years--and he's feeling fantastic.

But even better than the weight loss, he had just seen his doctor for a physical and the results surprised both of them.   His total cholesterol had dropped from 156 (on Lipitor) to 132 with the switch to a plant-based diet.

His doctor admitted that he was skeptical that a plant-based diet would have had such an effect, but he wanted K to stop the Lipitor and see him August.

Other benefits:  Migraines have decreased considerably--and his doc thinks it may be because he's cut out processed food & additives.  Prilosec is now also history.

As for J, she already needed to have her favorite designer jeans taken in. 

Biggest benefit for her?  The cooking & shopping have now become a joint-venture & an adventure!  A huge plus, in her book.

 

Linda--a reader

"As a lacto-ovo vegetarian whose only "lacto-ovo" component of the diet was skim milk and who eschewed added fats, I was dismayed to discover a few months ago that my overall cholesterol number was 241.

I was assured that it was heredity, and there was nothing else I could do since clearly my diet and exercise should have prevented my cholesterol from climbing so high.

I was put on Crestor, although only 5 mg. I have watched my husband be put on one medication after another through the decades and I didn't want to go down that path.

After watching the full 90-minute presentation on "The Bitter Truth about Sugar" and rereading my copy of Dr. Esselstyn's book, I dropped the skim milk and sugar from my diet.

Two month later, my overall cholesterol was 140 and the rest of the lipid panel was similarly improved, and my internist agreed to let me come back off the Crestor. I've long been acquainted with Campbell and Esselstyn, but thanks for the extra push your column provided to drop the skim milk and the sugar, too."

 

Ruby--a reader

"I just had my annual blood panel and I am thrilled with the results.

My cholesterol goal was 150, although I really wanted to get to 130.  But it was 155--close to my goal!   I only came down 22 points from my last test--but I was almost vegan last year.

My triglyceride goal was 70 and I made it, down from 93.

Glucose down only a little, from 93 to 85.

I wanted LDL under 100 and got to 97,  down from 114 last year. 

And my Vitamin D was 50.1 

B12 was greater than 1500.  I can now take it just 2-3 times a week."

 

G.--a reader

"August will be 2 years [eating plant-based].  I feel better, have more energy, look better with 23 less pounds of FAT, and I'm not dealing with digestive issues.

I know my friends thought this would be a phase that I'd quickly tire of, but my commitment has surprised them all. Now when I entertain guests, like I did last night, we dine plant-strong and they enjoy it.

Last night, we had:  veggie sushi, curried apple-butternut squash soup, garden salad with fresh mesclun mix-beet greens-spinach, garbanzos, brown rice, fresh cilantro, tomatoes, cucs, scallions, etc...with Isa's dressing, served with oven roasted fingerling potatoes, and for dessert...flourless chocolate cookies. OMG.

As far as I know, everyone was very happy and comfy as we sat down to play Blokus...ever played that one?????"

 

 OK, Robert Krulwich, Jim Fowler & Nick Christakis!   Yes, the "Contagious Habits Theory"  Really Can Work in Reverse!

"The same kind of phenomenon that contributes to an obesity epidemic could potentially — potentially — be harnessed to contribute to a reversal of the epidemic, because it's equally the case that one person losing weight contributes to the other people around them losing weight."   Dr. Nicholas Christakis